This graphs shows the types of activities done by the elderly people in their free time from 1980s to the present in the United states.

This graphs shows the types of activities done by the elderly people in their free time from 1980s to the present in the United states.
The line graph provides information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
laisure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
for five types of
activities
in the United States between 1980 and nowadays.
Overall
, the free
time
activities
rates of
watchng
Correct your spelling
watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
, surfing the internet and reading showed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
at the end
of the
period
. Hiking had a rose over the
period
,
while
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the theatre showed a
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
drop
over the
period
. In 1980 the free
time
percentages of Surfing the internet, reading and watching tv  were nearly almost 10% , 30% and 60% respectively. Surfing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
rate
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incrised
Correct your spelling
increased
incised
sharply throughout the
period
with 50%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the end of the
period
. in the meantime , the percentual of free
time
of watching tv it was the most popular in
Change the article
the tge
show examples
tge
Correct your spelling
the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1980
startimg
Correct your spelling
starting
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
60%
also
during
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
period
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and had a peak in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
70% after that had a declined arriving at almost 65%.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand,
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
activitie
Correct your spelling
activity
of hiking how had during the all
period
a rocket rose up to 80% at the
and
Correct your spelling
end
show examples
of the
period
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
had
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
overtook in
Correct your spelling
comparison
comparation
Correct your spelling
comparison
with the other
activities
In early 1980 the
activities
of theatre it was the second most popular at the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
of the year, during the all
period
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
a fall arriving
almost
Change preposition
at almost
show examples
45%
at the end
of the
period
.
Submitted by ariannynani on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, at the end".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activities, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Elderly
  • Recreation
  • Leisure time
  • Hobbies
  • Physical fitness
  • Passive entertainment
  • Social engagement
  • Technology adoption
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Time period
  • Comparative analysis
  • Health care advancements
  • Retirement lifestyle
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