This graphs shows the types of activities done by the elderly people in their free time from 1980s to the present in the United states.
The line graph provides information
of
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
laisure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
for five types of activities
in the United States between 1980 and nowadays.
Overall
, the free time
activities
rates of watchng
Correct your spelling
watching
tv
, surfing the internet and reading showed Correct your spelling
TV
a
Change the article
an
increased
Replace the word
increase
at the end
of the period
. Hiking had a rose over the period
, while
and
the theatre showed a Correct word choice
apply
droped
over the Correct your spelling
dropped
drop
period
.
In 1980 the free time
percentages of Surfing the internet, reading and watching tv
were nearly almost 10% , 30% and 60% respectively. Surfing in
the Change preposition
on
internet
rate Capitalize word
Internet
a
Correct article usage
apply
incrised
sharply throughout the Correct your spelling
increased
incised
period
with 50% in
the end of the Change the preposition
at
period
. in the meantime , the percentual of free time
of watching tv it was the most popular in Change the article
the tge
tge
year Correct your spelling
the
of
1980 Change preposition
apply
startimg
Correct your spelling
starting
with
60% Change preposition
at
also
during all
the Correct determiner usage
apply
period
had
a rose Unnecessary verb
apply
up
and had a peak in the year Change preposition
apply
of
2000 Change preposition
apply
with
70% after that had a declined arriving at almost 65%.
Change preposition
at
In
the other hand, Change preposition
On
have
the Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
activitie
of hiking how had during the all Correct your spelling
activity
period
a rocket rose up to 80% at the and
of the Correct your spelling
end
period
also
had Correct word choice
and also
a
overtook in Correct article usage
an
Correct your spelling
comparison
comparation
with the other Correct your spelling
comparison
activities
In early 1980 the activities
of theatre it was the second most popular at the beggining
of the year, during the all Correct your spelling
beginning
period
has
a fall arriving Wrong verb form
had
almost
45% Change preposition
at almost
at the end
of the period
.Submitted by ariannynani on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, at the end".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activities, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼