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Band 4

In some countries, some school leavers choose to work or travel for a year between finishing secondary school and attending university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and then give your opinion.

#countries #school #leavers #work #travel #year #university
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These days, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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common thing the higher education pupils
prefer
Fix the infinitive
to prefer
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 to
work
Use synonyms
 or travel who finish to take a
break
Use synonyms
 before entering universities in some nations.
Although
Linking Words
 adding
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 in
resume
Correct article usage
a resume
show examples
 and gaining development of the skills are the benefits of taking a
break
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 focus might be distracted and
friend's
Change noun form
friend
show examples
 contact might be lost are the drawbacks.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons and I will give my opinion too. There are some advantages to academic
leavers
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 before entering
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
show examples
. One of the major benefits is that adding extra
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
resume
Correct article usage
a resume
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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helps to enhance the
experience
Use synonyms
 when they attend a job interview. Another benefit is that
gaining
Change preposition
by gaining
show examples
 skill development, academic
leavers
Use synonyms
 have an appropriate chance to learn and
work
Use synonyms
 at the same time
while
Linking Words
 they develop their skills,
also
Linking Words
 they obtain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real-world
experience
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, Skill knowledge is of the utmost importance in a job interview so that employment can be
gotten
Verb problem
obtained
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 by
students
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
who take a
break
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. These are the advantages. Despite these advantages, there are some disadvantages to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a
break
Use synonyms
between
Change preposition
from
show examples
 finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school.and entering universities. One of the major drawbacks is that
students
Use synonyms
' academic focus might be distracted by money and
work
Use synonyms
 life, they never think about to again study and
enter
Verb problem
apply
show examples
colleges
Fix the agreement mistake
college
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due to
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 their focus only
gain
Wrong verb form
on gaining
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 more money by working.
For instance
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, a recent report from the Time of India said that around 40% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school
leavers
Use synonyms
 do not study
further
Linking Words
die
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 and earnings.
Also
Linking Words
, friends circle and contact may be disconnected because some prefer to enter the university
while
Linking Words
 they have to make new friends,
similarly
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,
work
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 can get new friends at their working places,
consequently
Linking Words
, old close circles can be disconnected. These are the disadvantages.
To conclude
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, there are merits and demerits to academic
leavers
Use synonyms
 choosing to
work
Use synonyms
 or travel before entering
further
Linking Words
 education.
However
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, in my opinion,
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, taking a
break
Use synonyms
 before attending
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
further
Linking Words
 education is the best choice
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who like to
work
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.
Hence
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, I support that academic
leavers
Use synonyms
 have many benefits when they
work
Use synonyms
 before entering college.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
You may need to ensure that your introduction sets the context for the discussion appropriately, by reforming your thesis statement to clearly signpost the advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed. This will help maintain a logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid grammatically incomplete sentences and strive for clarity in each paragraph's main point. Make sure each paragraph follows logically from the one before to maintain coherence.
task achievement
For higher marks, be comprehensive in your discussion and ensure that you address both sides of the issue thoroughly. Remember to include a balanced argument and specific examples that support your points.
task achievement
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly convey complex ideas and enhance your task response. Additionally, ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively and reflects your opinion clearly.
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