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Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given diagrams contrast the changes that Grand
Park
 has undergone since its opening in 1920 with those that it has nowadays. Among the
park
’s noteworthy attributes is its apparent upward tendency, as evidenced by the appearance of new essential amenities
along with
 the removal of several figures. In detail, there were two main entrances to get
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
park
 on Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street,
however
, visitors can come in by a new one from an underground car
park
. Noticeably, the fountain in the middle of the
park
 in 1920 was recently replaced by a new rose garden surrounded by seats for sightseers. Another minor shift is
that seating areas
Change the determiner
that seating area
those seating areas
show examples
 are gathered in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the recreational place. Considering both pictures, it is evident that there was a stage for musicians in the west of the
park
 in 1920.
Nevertheless
,
this
 platform is now demolished for the construction of the current amphitheatre for concerts. Respectively, the glasshouse in the southeast corner of the garden is now converted into a water feature.
Also
, a coffee shop was erected in recent years, which altered a small rose garden in 1920.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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task achievement
Work on your introductory paragraph to ensure that it sets the stage for your writing without being repetitive or too general. It should clearly present the topic and your intention to compare the park's layout as it was in 1920 with its current state.
task achievement
Present a distinct conclusion that encapsulates the significant transformations succinctly and effectively. This will provide a satisfactory closure to your writing, and reinforce the main points discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay in clearly defined paragraphs with logical transitions to enhance readability. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that sets the tone for the paragraph, followed by supporting sentences and a closing sentence that wraps up the paragraph's main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make use of a wider range of linkers and cohesive devices to signal comparisons, additions or cause and effect. This not only aids in the logical flow of information but also highlights your linguistic capabilities.
task achievement
When providing evidence or examples, ensure they are both specific and directly relevant to the points being made. This will enable you to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the task and subject matter.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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