The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

#first #information #money #british #parents #children’s #sports #second #children #three #britain #time #period

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The line graphs illustrate data about the average monthly spending of British parents on the

sports

of their

children

, and

also

the number of participants in three different

sports

fields including Football,

Athletics

and Swimming over the six-year period between 2008 and 2014.

It is clear that

the average amount of money spent on

children

’s

sports

in Britain witnessed an upward trend.

Also

, the number of

children

who participated in all the

sports

fields mentioned rose. In 2008, almost 8

million

children

took part in Football,

while

only about 2

million

and 0.5

million

children

participated in Swimming and

Athletics

, respectively. Having remained stable at the same amount, the figure for kids' participation in Football

then

went up slightly reaching 9

million

in 2014. On average, the monthly expense of the

sports

of British

children

was nearly 20 pounds and

then

increased steadily by twelve pounds in 2014. Regarding

children

who participated in

Athletics

courses, it remained stable until 2010, and by 2012, it had leapfrogged the figure for participants in Swimming and peaked at 5

million

children

. Despite the slight fall,

Athletics

was a more popular

sports

option for

children

than Swimming at 4

million

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Jan 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sports, children, athletics, million with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

196 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?
Without a shadow of a doubt, tourism on a global scale has been flourishing in many countries. However, many people assert that this has detrimental impacts on their nation. This essay will analyze some of the main reasons and then suggest feasible solutions to this issue.
7
band
Some people say that what individuals do to protect the environment cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.
Whether or not individuals can do anything to ensure the environment stays safe is a controversial discussion point. While some people say that if everyone takes action, drastic changes will take place, opponents such as this writer believe that what an individual does has little effect on the environment and only the government is able to help improve the situation.
<4
band
Write about the following topic: Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
To reduce the gap of wealthy and poor countries, developed countries help the poor ones by sending money. However, this is only scratching the surface of the problem without solving it. In my opinion, wealthy countries should not provide money but other kinds of help to those countries which are not well-developed yet. The reasons will be listed in the paragraphs below.
5
band
The two below show the site of a college in 2006 and the present day.
The maps illustrate the developments in Lynwich College from 2006 to the present day.
6
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. This essay covers why they put forward this idea and what both views entail.

The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

Some people say that what individuals do to protect the environment cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

The two below show the site of a college in 2006 and the present day.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.