IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Despite improved access to education, many adults still lack literacy skills. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

#access #education #adults #lack #literacy #skills #governments
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is easily accessible to almost every individual
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 society.
Large
Change the article
A large
The large
show examples
 number of educational institutions are providing extravagant facilities to students in almost every part of the world. The sole purpose of their services is to provide
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, regardless of
everything
Add a comma
everything,
show examples
 there are many individuals whose literacy skills are still very low.
This
Linking Words
 problem seems to be very common in many adults.
However
Linking Words
, it not only lowers the literacy rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society but there are
also
Linking Words
 several disadvantages. First and foremost, no
education
Use synonyms
 means not taking any major steps in development for the better future of society.
Education
Use synonyms
 polishes the human brain and
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 ability to differentiate between good and bad aspects of life. Kids are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 future of any country.
However
Linking Words
, someone with zero knowledge will not be able to raise and guide their kids properly. Grooming of the one kid raised by an educated adult will definitely going to be
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 better than the one raised by an uneducated one. Most importantly,
this
Linking Words
 impact
last
Linking Words
till
Change preposition
for
show examples
 generations.
Secondly
Linking Words
, knowledge and
education
Use synonyms
 give
people
Use synonyms
 enough confidence to question anything bad happening around them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a person with low knowledge lacks the ability to raise a voice for their own right.
This
Linking Words
 results in corrupt politicians taking benefit of
this
Linking Words
 whole situation and not fulfilling the needs and rights of individuals. In my opinion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 can
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 more
arrangement
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangements
show examples
 for the
people
Use synonyms
 in order to attract them towards getting
Use synonyms
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
.
Especially
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, they can arrange
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of physical workshops to promote
education
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 those areas where number of literacy rate is too low.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can distribute free books and hire volunteers who can travel to those regions and motivate
people
Use synonyms
 towards
education
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, there are many private institutions
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are giving free
education
Use synonyms
 to
people
Use synonyms
. They are not only giving free
education
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 motivating adults so they can at least send their kids to study.
Submitted by araibbutt93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt, with a clear opinion or conclusion that reflects on how adults are disadvantaged by a lack of literacy and what governments can do to help.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal to the reader what the main idea will be, then develop it with relevant examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: