Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.
#believe #governments #money #roads #highways #think #transportation #buses #trains #subways #points
Some
people
think governments should invest more money
on
improving Change preposition
in
roads
and highways
. Whilst, others think it should be spent on improvement of public transportation
. In this
essay, I will discuss about
both Remove the preposition
apply
people' s
Change noun form
people's
view
and give my own opinion Fix the agreement mistake
views
for
each.
Change preposition
on
People
who believe governments
Change the noun form
government
money
should be spent for
improving Change preposition
on
roads
and highways
. Because,
lack of Remove the comma
apply
roads
and highways
can create more problems especially
traffic Add the comma(s)
, especially
as well as
accidents
. Because of lack
of road facilities Correct article usage
the lack
people
are forced to travel
through more uncomfortable traffic situation
which leads to more Fix the agreement mistake
situations
accidents
. For instance
, cities which have lack of
Change preposition
apply
roads
and highways
face high
percentage of Correct article usage
a high
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
in
everyday possible and Change preposition
apply
probability
of Correct article usage
the probability
increase
in morality Add an article
an increase
also
a concern because of unexpected Add a missing verb
is also
accidents
and crashes.
Whereas
, other people
believe as much money
should be invest
Change the verb form
be invested
be investing
on
improving public Change preposition
in
transportation
which are
buses, trains and Subways. BecauseVerb problem
includes
,
Remove the comma
apply
which
helps Correct pronoun usage
it
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
who are not affordable
to Correct word choice
able
travel
by their own transportation
. They are more dependent on governments
public Fix the agreement mistake
government
travel
facilities for their needs such
as traveling
to work, Change the spelling
travelling
to
schools .
Correct word choice
and to
For example
, people
who lives
in Change the verb form
live
country
like India Add an article
a country
are
mostly Unnecessary verb
apply
travel
through public transportation
rather than on their own transportation
because,
most of them are not able to meet the cost fair.
In conclusion, some believe Remove the comma
apply
government
Correct article usage
the government
spent
more Wrong verb form
should spend
money
on improving roads
and highways
because of its consequences like traffic and road accidents
. Whilst some
think Correct word choice
Some
money
should be spent on improvement
of public Correct article usage
the improvement
transportation
because it fulfills the needs of struggling people
who are not affordable
to Correct word choice
able
travel
by their own vehicles.Submitted by insighttribez on
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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the points of discussion. While your introduction is present, it could be more effectively structured by immediately establishing a clear overview of the perspectives you will discuss, followed by your thesis statement.
Main points
Your main body paragraphs should start with a clear topic sentence that states the main point. Follow this with supporting details and examples. Your current paragraphs lack clearly defined topic sentences and the supporting evidence is not fully developed, affecting task achievement. Work to expand and detail your supporting examples for stronger task response.
Coherence and cohesion
Make use of a range of conjunctions and cohesive devices to better link ideas between and within paragraphs. This essay exhibits a basic application of coherence but can greatly benefit from more complex structures that would improve the flow and readability.
Task response
Achieving a higher score requires fully responding to all parts of the prompt. This includes discussing both views and giving your own opinion. In your essay, clearly state your personal stance and ensure it's consistently referenced throughout the essay. Your conclusion should also clearly reflect this.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.