IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the percentages of tourists who used different types of transport to travel within a particular nation between 1989 and 2009. Each tourist may have used more than one type of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentages of tourists who used different types of transport to travel within a particular nation between 1989 and 2009. Each tourist may have used more than one type of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart illustrates the proportion of
tourists
Use synonyms
 using five different types of transport to
travel
Use synonyms
 around
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 mentioned nation from 1989 to 2009. It is noticeable that
tourists
Use synonyms
 may have used more than one kind of transport.
Overall
Linking Words
, it could be seen that there were upward trends in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of all forms of transportation, except for air
travel
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
tourists
Use synonyms
 travelling by car contributed the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
, the opposite was true that of
tourists
Use synonyms
 using ferries.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there were around 50% of
people
Use synonyms
 travelling by car in the first year of the period,
then
Linking Words
 reached a peak at the level of 60% in 1999, which was the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 through the period.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 proportion sharply declined by roughly 10% and ended with the second rank after the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 using the railway.
Although
Linking Words
 the portion of
tourists
Use synonyms
 that travelled by rail within the country was over 30%, under that of
people
Use synonyms
 travelling by airline,
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 soared to nearly 60% after 20 years. Looking at the rest, the use of coach and ferry shared similar trends.
While
Linking Words
 the former witnessed an increase from 10% to under 30%, the latter went up to over 10%,
then
Linking Words
 slightly decreased to under 10% in 2009. The only transportation
people
Use synonyms
 used to
travel
Use synonyms
 within a nation experiencing a downward trend was air
travel
Use synonyms
, from 40% to nearly 20%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, travel, percentage, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transportation modes
  • tourists' preferences
  • over a period of time
  • to travel within
  • fluctuations
  • a steady increase/decrease
  • peaked at
  • declined to
  • remained stable
  • witnessed
  • a surge in popularity
  • gradual
  • significant
  • predominant
  • comparative analysis
  • in comparison to
  • a shift towards
  • to utilize
  • car hire/rental
  • public transportation
  • cycling
  • domestic flights
What to do next:
Look at other essays: