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Writing Samples
Band 5

In today's world many people own a smart phone .Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantages?

#world #people #phone #smartphone #outweight
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Nowadays, all over the world, most people have a
smartphone
.
This
 writer will provide the advantages and
disadvantages
 of owning a
smartphone
. Having the phone contains a lot of different benefits in daily life
such
 as communication, studying, chatting, ...etc.
Due to
 the development
in
Change preposition
of
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 technology,
smartphones
 help everything become increasingly easier.
Moreover
, people can do everything at any time, even anywhere that we can do just by phone. Take a school as an example, today, many universities have begun investing money in a lot of technological equipment for students to look for academic information on the Internet.
Furthermore
, the majority of schools allow students to use
smartphones
 in class to service their studies.
Besides
, using
smartphones
also
 saves a lot of time for
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 to do
many
Correct your spelling
any
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 work or study. Thanks to the developed electricity, the phone is more and more state-of-the-art.
Thus
 , it is very easy to control exercise in the factory, education, and pay by a
smartphone
.
On the other hand
,
owing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
smartphones
 will have
disadvantages
 in future if we depend on them. Lead to the risk of hackers logging on to the system and stealing private information to gain money .
For example
, a factory’s news can be shown if it is hacked. Despite these
disadvantages
, I believe that the advantages of owning a
smartphone
 far outweigh the
disadvantages
.
Smartphones
 provide people with a way to stay connected with others, access information, and be entertained.
While
 it is important to be mindful of the potential distractions and addictive qualities of
smartphones
, I believe that the benefits of owning one are clear.
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coherence cohesion
It is crucial to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a single main idea with subsequent sentences explaining or supporting that idea.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction provides an overview of the topic and clearly states your position. The conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your position, not introduce new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that main points are supported by specific examples or evidence. Avoid general statements and instead use concrete examples that directly relate to the topic.
task achievement
Your response should address all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, and ensure that your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ideas should be clearly developed and elaborated on. Avoid brief or unsupported statements. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and provide an in-depth exploration of that idea.
task achievement
Make sure to provide relevant examples to support your points. These examples should be specific and detailed, demonstrating how they connect to the argument you are making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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