in today 's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the adavantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disavantages?

#world #people #smartphone #adavantages #disavantages

In our contemporary world,

smartphones

have become ubiquitous, sparking a debate about whether their advantages outweigh the drawbacks. The convenience and connectivity offered by

smartphones

are undeniable assets, allowing users to stay connected, access information instantly, and enhance productivity.

However

, concerns about

privacy

, addiction, and societal impact warrant careful consideration. The connectivity facilitated by

smartphones

enables seamless communication and fosters a sense of community through social media platforms. Their portability and multifunctionality enhance productivity, making them indispensable in today's fast-paced lifestyle. Yet, the convenience of

smartphones

raises

privacy

concerns. Instances of unauthorized data access and surveillance have highlighted the vulnerability of personal information. Achieving a balance between connectivity and robust

privacy

protection is crucial for users and society.

Moreover

, the addictive nature of

smartphones

poses challenges. Constant notifications and the allure of entertaining apps contribute to dependency, affecting productivity and mental well-being. Striking a balance between utilizing

smartphones

for their benefits and avoiding addictive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

requires conscious effort. Societal impacts,

such

as cyberbullying and the rapid spread of misinformation,

also

warrant attention.

While

smartphones

enable global communication, they can amplify negative events, contributing to social issues. Addressing these challenges involves collective awareness and responsible smartphone use. In conclusion,

while

smartphones

offer undeniable benefits, addressing

privacy

, addiction, and societal concerns is crucial. Striking a balanced and responsible approach to smartphone use requires ongoing societal awareness and adaptation to the digital landscape.

Tue Jan 09 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential for a logical structure. Ensure the essay starts with an introduction that paraphrases the task question and ends with a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and your stance.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents main points but they need to be supported by more developed examples to effectively illustrate the arguments. Aim to include specific and relevant examples that directly support the point being made.

Task Achievement

While the essay touches on both the advantages and disadvantages of smartphone use, the response would benefit from a clearer and more direct answer to whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Make sure to explicitly state your opinion and provide a balanced argument that directly addresses the essay prompt.

Coherence & Cohesion

The ideas presented are difficult to follow due to the lack of clear organization. Improve coherence by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs each containing one main idea with supporting details.

Task Achievement

The main ideas in the essay need to be more fully elaborated and clear. Work on developing each point fully, using well-structured sentences and paragraphs to convey comprehensive ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

230 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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in today 's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the adavantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disavantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause of individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

n some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pay for them. Do you think the advantages that government pays the money outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions.