In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, many individuals including children around 10 to 17 years old and older have
smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Some of the reasons they have it like their parents bought or made a salary and benefit
smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but they do not think the need has support or disadvantages.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

writer will talk about that in other communities and mine.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, benefit has are benefits like talking to friends or others when they can relax by other videos, games or comics on the internet.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a student in grade 8 in an American school said when he used a
smartphone
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, he felt comfortable and could do anything he wanted he wished his mother would buy him the best model
smartphone
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to play games with his friends.
Smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can give the public more knowledge, before
smartphones
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

each can call,
now
Correct word choice
and now

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
can do anything which the community want and that makes the nation think an activity with has
smartphone
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the best.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

advantages will have disadvantages and
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

serious for the nation. When they have used it for a long time will have an effect on their health,
damage
Correct word choice
and damage

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
to their eyes.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in some of city are population is damaged by the eyes of a green light from a
smartphone
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Disadvantages will cause society a property of bad lives and it is hard to fix. In conclusion, many people enjoy their
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

smartphones much
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphone

It seems that smartphones much may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
time. Now there are applications like Facebook and Instagram, so everyone spends a lot of time surfing those applications.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Vietnam, at coffee shops or walking to school, you will see everyone holding their own phone, it could be for work, or for work, it could be relaxing, but using the phone. They all have their own common and specific benefits, don't let them harm your own health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction that sets the context and presents a thesis statement. It's important to introduce the topic properly and state your position or main argument clearly.
supported main points
The main points in your essay are not well-supported with specific examples or explanations. Consider providing clear evidence or detailed examples to support each advantage or disadvantage discussed.
complete response
Your essay does not fully answer the prompt as it fails to compare the advantages and disadvantages of owning a smartphone in a balanced way, leading to an incomplete argument and response.
logical structure
It appears your essay lacks coherence due to disjointed sentences and ideas. To improve, ensure your points connect logically and use transition words to guide readers through your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some of your ideas are presented without clear explanations, making them difficult to comprehend. Work on developing your points fully to make your argument comprehensible.
relevant specific examples
You need to provide relevant, specific examples to substantiate your claims about the advantages and disadvantages of smartphones. Generic statements should be avoided in favor of concrete evidence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Connectivity
  • Remote work
  • Information access
  • Learning opportunities
  • GPS
  • Mapping services
  • Entertainment
  • Media consumption
  • Health monitoring
  • Fitness tracking
  • Productivity
  • Task management
  • Distraction
  • Procrastination
  • Social isolation
  • Mental health
  • Cybersecurity
  • Privacy concerns
  • E-waste
  • Environmental impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: