In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantages
In recent years, many individuals including children around 10 to 17 years old and older have
smartphones
. Some of the reasons they have it like their parents bought or made a salary and benefit smartphones
but they do not think the need has support or disadvantages. This
writer will talk about that in other communities and mine.
On the other hand
, benefit has are benefits like talking to friends or others when they can relax by other videos, games or comics on the internet. For example
, a student in grade 8 in an American school said when he used a smartphone
, he felt comfortable and could do anything he wanted he wished his mother would buy him the best model smartphone
to play games with his friends. Smartphones
can give the public more knowledge, before smartphones
each can call, now
can do anything which the community want and that makes the nation think an activity with has Correct word choice
and now
smartphone
is the best.
On the other hand
, besides
advantages will have disadvantages and that is
serious for the nation. When they have used it for a long time will have an effect on their health, damage
to their eyes. Correct word choice
and damage
For example
, in some of city are population is damaged by the eyes of a green light from a smartphone
. Disadvantages will cause society a property of bad lives and it is hard to fix.
In conclusion, many people enjoy their smartphones much
time. Now there are applications like Facebook and Instagram, so everyone spends a lot of time surfing those applications. Fix the agreement mistake
smartphone
For example
, in Vietnam, at coffee shops or walking to school, you will see everyone holding their own phone, it could be for work, or for work, it could be relaxing, but using the phone. They all have their own common and specific benefits, don't let them harm your own health.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction that sets the context and presents a thesis statement. It's important to introduce the topic properly and state your position or main argument clearly.
supported main points
The main points in your essay are not well-supported with specific examples or explanations. Consider providing clear evidence or detailed examples to support each advantage or disadvantage discussed.
complete response
Your essay does not fully answer the prompt as it fails to compare the advantages and disadvantages of owning a smartphone in a balanced way, leading to an incomplete argument and response.
logical structure
It appears your essay lacks coherence due to disjointed sentences and ideas. To improve, ensure your points connect logically and use transition words to guide readers through your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some of your ideas are presented without clear explanations, making them difficult to comprehend. Work on developing your points fully to make your argument comprehensible.
relevant specific examples
You need to provide relevant, specific examples to substantiate your claims about the advantages and disadvantages of smartphones. Generic statements should be avoided in favor of concrete evidence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?