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Band 5.5

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

#computers #education #people #trend #consequences #argument
In recent times ,
Computers
 are playing a major role in
academics
. Certain Individuals believe that it's a clear learning and others disagree that it is an unfavorable learning.In my opinion, there are many benefits and drawbacks to using
computers
. The primary reason,most
academics
 these days are taking classes and sharing content digitally.
For example
,leading school chains in India send the study material via email ID
instead
 of hard copies ,especially after the
Covid -19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
 pandemic.
Therefore
, if students have to maintain the pace of learning access to
computers
 is inevitable.
Moreover
,most of the parents in modern days are employed and cannot sustain enough time for their children.
This
,
as a result
,leaves a void which is usually filled with
computers
,and other technical gadgets. Multiple factors lead to a negative development in the long run.
Firstly
,it can cause different health issues
such
 as straining of eyes,and an increase in weight
due to
 constant sitting with
computers
.
As a result
, children might encounter serious health problems at a very young age.
Apart from
this
,it can lead to wastage of time as the young generation usually loses track of time.
For Instance
,Young People mostly use
computers
 to watch films and play games
due to
 which they lose concentration on
academics
 and continuous usage of
computers
 will cause serious health problems. In Conclusion, I would like to say that
academics
 always prefer the more comfortable alternative
that is
 available.
Therefore
,it can be safely said that in the coming years,there will be a complete shift from traditional classes to digital classes.
Submitted by rani.reddy2003 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
You should ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences which elaborate on that idea. Try to use linking phrases to connect your points and guide your reader. Paragraphs should flow naturally from one to another.
Task Achievement
While you have touched on both views and given a conclusion in line with the task requirement, your task response could be improved. Make sure to fully explore both sides of the argument in equal measure and support these ideas with relevant, detailed, and specific examples. You need to present a balanced discussion before giving your own opinion. Your own opinion should be a reasoned one, coming from the discussion made.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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