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Band 4.5

t is said that when recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#employee #employer #attention #qualities #qualifications
Undoubtedly, several aspects are considered
while
 choosing a deserving candidate for
a certain job positions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a certain job position
certain job positions
show examples
, but few individuals give more priority to their capabilities rather than academic knowledge and skills, so I partially support
this
 notion and my viewpoints regarding
this
 will be written in forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that personal qualities are very important to selecting an
employee
 like honesty and dedication. if an
employee
 has these qualities
then
 he/she will add more value to work.
For example
, if a person has a positive attitude toward his work
then
 he will show great performance in his field. which will help him to get a promotion.
on the other hand
, the managing director should not ignore qualification criteria for assigning a new worker. because without relevant academics any working individual will not complete any project.
For instance
, if chief executives are hiring an
employee
 as a software developer, so
employee
 should have minimum knowledge of programming so without academics he cannot work in
this
 field.
furthermore
, experience criteria
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
 important and most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies prefer to hire
such
employee
 who has long time experience in their job.
For example
, if any construction company is hiring workers to construct a building
then
 experienced workers will get first priority to get a job. in conclusion,
although
 I agree that personal qualities are important when compared to others yet, for some technical jobs' theoretical knowledge is more important.
Submitted by jagbinderchahal on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a somewhat clear line of reasoning with an introduction and conclusion, but the logical structure could be improved by better paragraph organization and smoother transitions between ideas. Focus on creating cohesive devices that help your arguments flow more naturally.
task achievement
Your essay responds to the task, including both sides of the argument. However, the response would benefit from more depth and development of ideas. Try to explore each point more thoroughly with detailed explanations and multiple examples to strengthen your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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