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Band 3

table about the productions of different types of grains between 2010 and 2011

#productions #grains
The table illustrates the different types of
grains
Change the noun form
grain
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production
 between 2010-2020
as well as
 the predicted
production
 between 2025-2030.
Overall
, there was a general increase in the
production
for
Change preposition
of
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 all products with the exception of
rice
. What is more, it is expected that a consistent
grow
Replace the word
growth
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 in the
production
 will be noticed for all except maize.
To begin
, there was an upward trend observed for both wheat and barley between 2010-2020. The former started relatively higher at 100
millions
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million
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 in 2010, before rising considerably to 107 in 2020. The
later
Correct your spelling
latter
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, on the other end, had half the amount of
production
 at 50
millions
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million
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 in 2010, and it consistently increased to 90
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2020.
Similarly
, it is expected that increasing
production
 for both between 2025-2030, wheat will surge from 108
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 110
millions
Change to singular
million
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,
likewise
 barley will increase from 90
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 100
millions
Change to singular
million
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 within
this
 period.
However
, maize and
rice
 have experienced opposite trends in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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production
 between 2010-2020, maize kicked off at 34
millions
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million
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 to reach
all-time
Add an article
an all-time
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 high
at
Change preposition
of
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 34.5
millions
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million
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,
while
rice
 started at 24.7
millions
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million
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 to marginally fell to 24.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 within the indicated period.
Conversely
, it is expected that mazine will show
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 increase to 35
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2025, before remaining stable until 2030.
However
,
rice
 will experience a substantial surge to 25
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2025, before peaking at 25.5 in 2030.
Submitted by ototonji.ot on

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introduction conclusion
You should ensure that the introduction adequately paraphrases the prompt and provides a clear overview of the main trends. Also, including a conclusion to summarize the key points would enhance clarity.
accuracy data
When presenting data, make sure that the figures and trends are presented accurately. There are inconsistencies in the production figures for maize (34 million to 34.5 million is described as 'all-time high'), which could confuse the reader.
coherence
To improve coherence, work on transitioning smoothly between different points. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help the reader follow your analysis more easily.
grammar
Avoid contradictions or unclear statements (e.g., 'consistent grow' should be 'consistent growth'). Work on grammatical accuracy in the essay to enhance comprehension and flow.
logical structure
Ensure all trends and data comparisons are clear and logically structured within paragraphs. Group similar information together and compare contrasting data effectively to improve the logical structure of the essay.
clarity ideas
Give clear and comprehensive ideas throughout the essay. Some statements may be unclear or confusing due to grammatical errors or inaccurate vocabulary. Enhance clarity by simplifying complex sentences and checking for grammatical correctness.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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