IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many modern societies , grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their grandparents. What do you think are the consequences of this?

#societies #grandchildren #quality #time #grandparents #consequences
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Nowadays grandchildren can't speak with
grandparents
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.I think it's a little bad. Because of loss outcome.Everybody by himself.He is busy with work. Not taken into consideration owing to
throw
Wrong verb form
throwing
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children
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to
Change preposition
into
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 nursing
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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.
Besides
Linking Words
 attention was given to
children
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 and teenagers. Today at present technologies can notice attention all every.
For example
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 different computer games and unnecessary programs. It's the reason. Again unkindness can
for example
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 modern life. I think encounter teenagers and
children
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 with
grandparents
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. Because we our
grandparents
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 learn our national values. Again behind history.
Grandparents
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 have a big role in child care and upbringing. In the upbringing of life knowledge. When they start to understand the environment should be accepted. But some teenagers look at them badly. No matter how many parents try to replace them, their place is different. Because they have different love is taken. and the bad side is that
children
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 who have not been educated by their
grandparents
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 do not know how to say hello in public places and do not know the culture. They forget our nationality. He is against our values. And
this
Linking Words
 is bad. Different upbringing criteria are hidden in every family,
that is
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, every person approaches the same goal differently. But it should not be forgotten that where there is love beautiful
children
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 are born and perfect people grow up
that is
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 the cornerstone and the real foundation of personality formation is parents and their relationship.Everyone has the right to be happy he dreams of happiness he strives for happiness.When people are happy families are happy.When families are happy society is strong.
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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are critical for laying out the topic and summarizing the main points, respectively. Ensure that each essay begins with a clear statement about the topic and ends with a concise summary that reiterates the main points addressed.
supported main points
The main points should be clearly developed with concrete examples and relevant arguments. Unpack the consequences in more depth and provide hypothetical or real examples to bolster the argument.
complete response
The response to the task is incomplete and fails to adequately address the consequences of grandchildren not spending quality time with their grandparents. Explore the potential impacts more thoroughly and directly link them to the premise of the question.
logical structure
Ideas need to be presented in a more organized and logical manner. Use paragraphs effectively, with each one focusing on a single main idea, and use cohesive devices to link your ideas together coherently.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that the concepts and arguments presented are clear, comprehensive, and articulated in a way that reflects a deeper understanding of the topic. Simplify complex ideas and construct sentences carefully to avoid confusion.
relevant specific examples
Provide real, relevant, and specific examples to illustrate the points you are making. This adds depth and clarity to your argument, showing the examiner that you understand the topic and can apply your knowledge practically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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