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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Percantage of mobile phones owners using various mobile features in 2006 2008 and 2010

#percantage #phones #owners #features
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The table provides data regarding the
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of people
utulising
Correct your spelling
utilising
utilizing
 different mobile
phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
show examples
 8 functions in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2006, 2008 and 2010. It can be concluded from the graph that the proportion of giving a call was used the most contrasting to others, It cannot denied that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of diminishing
at the end
 of
trend
Add an article
a trend
the trend
show examples
,It is worth noticing
Search
Correct word choice
that Search
show examples
 the Internet saw
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 dramatic rise with
substancially
Correct your spelling
substantially
as well as
 other qualities of phones. From the figure, It can be inferred that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the uppermost programmes were Make calls with
indentical
Correct your spelling
identical
 results at 100% in 2006 with that of 2008,
moreover
 Take phones were 66%
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the initial point, couple
years
Change preposition
of years
show examples
 later, It reached 71% during these times Send and
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 text messages were on climb 2 times to 75%. Ultimately, they achieved 99%, 75%,
79
Correct word choice
and 79
show examples
% in 2010.
On the other hand
, It is perceptible that
other
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 rest of
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
show examples
 parts, which
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contained Play games, Play music and Record video went up markedly,
whereas
 as Make calls by owners Play games declined to 1 times from 42% to 41% at comletion. The graph showed that the Record video was uncommon in 2008 at 9%,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it comes to 2010,
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 35%.
Addionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
this
 period, Play music became
th
Correct your spelling
the
 lowest utulising media
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 26%.
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure you introduce and conclude your writing clearly. The introduction should outline the key points that will be discussed and the conclusion should summarize the main points or provide a final thought on the topic.
supported main points
Develop each paragraph with a clear main point and use supporting sentences that provide more information or examples related to the main point.
logical structure
Consider organizing the essay into clear, logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the one before it. Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words or phrases) to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
complete response
Ensure to fully address the task by covering all the requirements of the task. Your response should include relevant information and detail. Avoid including unnecessary information that does not contribute to fulfilling the task.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure to develop your ideas fully to address the task. Use relevant examples to support your points and explain your ideas in detail so the reader can easily follow and understand your argument.
relevant specific examples
Use data to provide specific examples that illustrate and support your points. Refer to the data provided in the task prompt accurately and ensure the examples are relevant to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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