Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#students #extra- #activities #university #clubs #sports

Several university scholars are interested in

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

such

as social clubs and sports. It is often argued that it may affect the academic performance of the students. I completely agree with

this

view which I will explain in

this

essay. Several university scholars are interested in

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

such

as social clubs and sports. It is often argued that it may affect the academic performance of the students. I completely agree with

this

view which I will explain in

this

essay.

Submitted by ck.manshad on Tue Jan 09 2024

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task achievement

The essay presented is significantly under length and lacks depth, failing to provide a meaningful analysis of the topic at hand. The content is almost entirely repeated in the two paragraphs provided which suggests that the response is not complete, and therefore, does not fulfill the task requirement of discussing the advantages and disadvantages concerning students' involvement in extracurricular activities at the university. Additionally, there is no development of ideas or provision of specific examples which are essential for a richer response.

coherence cohesion

The repeated content indicates a lack of understanding in structuring a cohesive essay. Such repetition undermines the logical flow typically expected in IELTS essays. A variety of cohesive devices should be used to help outline the main ideas and show the relationship between paragraphs and sentences, but none can be found in this essay. Further, both an introduction with a clear thesis statement outlining the essay's structure and a conclusion summarizing the main points and restating the writer's position are necessary components still missing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

84 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interpersonal skills
teamwork
networking
time management
physical fitness
stress reduction
commitment
diverse interests
distraction
academic performance
overcommitment
burnout
financial strain
exclusivity
discrimination

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Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

You have recently moved to a different house. Write a letter to an English speaking friend. In your letter Explain why you have moved Describe the new house Invite your friend to come and visit

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job trainning are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important Goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country