Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. To what extent do you agree ?
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parents
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.
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parents
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children
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children
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career
As a result
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children
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a lack
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opportunities
Furthermore
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parents
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pressure
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children
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status
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children's
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chilhoood
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In conclusion, Correct your spelling
childhood
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear and well-structured introduction. It is important to introduce the topic, acknowledge the question, and state your position clearly. This should be done in a concise manner, laying a solid foundation for the essay.
supported main points
The main points in your essay were somewhat supported, but they would benefit from more elaboration and clearer explanations. Try to develop your arguments more fully with specific details and examples to make them more persuasive.
complete response
The response to the task is somewhat complete, but it would be improved by more thoroughly addressing the prompt. This is done by presenting a balanced view or discussing both sides of the argument if applicable before stating your firm conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay presents some clear and comprehensive ideas, yet there are passages which could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a central idea and that the ideas are explained cohesively, extending your explanations and connecting them back to the main argument of the essay.
relevant specific examples
Your essay provides some relevant examples, but they are too generalized. Invest more time in constructing specific and insightful examples that support your viewpoint and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
logical structure
Overall, your essay needs work on both coherence and cohesion. A logical structure entails a clear introduction, body paragraphs with main ideas supported by examples or explanations, and a concise conclusion. Transition words and variety in sentence structures can enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite