Some people say that modern innovation brings about more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, some groups of society believe that new techs will make
the
life more difficult for us. With all due respect to Correct article usage
apply
this
point of view and cosidering
Correct your spelling
considering
drawbacks
of new devices, I disagree with Correct article usage
the drawbacks
this
statement and I think they have helped us in a lot of things which I'll explain more about in the rest of this
essay.
To beging
with, advocates of modern innovations tout their many advantages. Nowadays, life is much easier than even a decade ago. Correct your spelling
begin
in
that time, the internet and Change preposition
At
smart phones
weren't so rampant to use and Correct your spelling
smartphones
people
had a lot of trouble to communicate
and Change the verb form
communicating
find
accurate data about a topic. But now, you can find everything about a topic with just a search in the google. Wrong verb form
finding
In addition
to being difficult to live, the
members of society may Change preposition
with, the
died
because of diseases that now we call Change the verb form
die
them
"Correct pronoun usage
apply
undagerous
". Correct your spelling
dangerous
Futhurmore
, because of the quality of food, inappropriate food distribution and lack of suitable healthcare, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
people
usually suffered
from a large array of illnesses which Wrong verb form
suffer
made
them unable to enjoy their life and work. Wrong verb form
make
For example
, about two centuries ago in the
eastern Asia, Tuberculosis was so rampant because of the poor quality of water which led to a disaster and killed Correct article usage
apply
thousand
of Correct your spelling
thousands
people
.
On the other hand
, the progress of technology has some critics. Firstly
, cellphones
and modern devices can increase Correct your spelling
cell phones
the
stress among Correct article usage
apply
people
and reduce the average age of a community. For example
, the blue light that tablet and laptop screens release can extremely affect the brain and impair vision
of teenagers and adults. Add an article
the vision
Secondly
, technology puts teenagers and vulnerable members of society into
more danger. Change preposition
in
Hence
, the
parents should take more care Correct article usage
apply
about
their children, Change preposition
of
besides
to
Change preposition
apply
working
, which brings them more Change the form of the verb
work
resposibillity
. Correct your spelling
responsibility
Hacker
and online criminals, Fix the agreement mistake
Hackers
for instance
, steal millions of dollars annually and
trick a lot of children Correct word choice
apply
to do
illegal things and even encourage them to use different drugs.
Change preposition
into doing
To conclude
, progress
of technology and new devices can save millions of lives yearly and bring more convenience to Add an article
the progress
humany
. Meanwhile, some Correct your spelling
humanity
many
people
misuse them and put several lives in dager
. Correct your spelling
danger
Therefore
, it's important for us to increace
Correct your spelling
increase
the
awareness about them and take more care of our families.Correct article usage
apply
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion both restate the essay prompt and summarize your position clearly. The lack of clarity diminishes the effectiveness of your essay.
Logical Structure
Focus on structuring your essay with clear and logical points. Each body paragraph should introduce one main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
Supported Main Points
Use specific examples that are directly relevant to support the ideas you put forward in your argument. The examples given should clearly demonstrate the impact of modern innovation.
Complete Response
The response lacks a clear stance throughout the essay, and the points mentioned sometimes diverge from the core topic. Ensure that the essay directly addresses the question and remains focused on the argument.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Develop comprehensive ideas and present them in a structured manner. Your argument can be greatly improved by presenting coherent points with a clear flow.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments effectively. When discussing the effects of modern innovation, use precise and concrete instances.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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