In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?

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Nowsaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, many people have
a
Change the word
their
show examples
own
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
,
specially
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especially
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teenagers.
Phone
Add an article
The phone
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is
a convenient and smart equipment
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convenient and smart equipment
a piece of convenient and smart equipment
show examples
.
Ther
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There
show examples
are some benefits that help humans get in touch or
knownledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
in social media. The first
advantages
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advantage
show examples
is
Correct article usage
the convenient
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convenient
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convenience
show examples
to get
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of getting
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in touch and talking from far
way
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away
show examples
. That
mean
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means
show examples
we can call,
Correct word choice
and chatting
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chatting
Wrong verb form
chat
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in
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on
show examples
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
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between
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, not only near our but
also
Linking Words
far from other places. It is more modern than
write
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writing
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a letter in the past so
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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people
contract
Verb problem
communicate
show examples
with others quickly. The other
advantages
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advantage
show examples
is connect
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is connected
is connecting
show examples
in
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to
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
softly. We can study,
Correct word choice
and work
show examples
work
Correct word choice
and work
show examples
Change preposition
on
show examples
in
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on
show examples
Correct article usage
a
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
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that
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
wifi to connect
Change preposition
to social
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social
Change preposition
to social
show examples
media.
Conquently
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Consequently
, humans will
knownledge
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knowledge
acknowledge
,
explore
Correct word choice
and explore
show examples
a new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
that benefit
for
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apply
show examples
those life
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that life
those lives
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Covid-19
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COVID-19
show examples
, we couldn’t go to school so many students
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
participated in online
class
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classes
show examples
by
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through
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their school websites.
In
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On
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the other hand, there are some disadvantages
can
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that can
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
our
live
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lives
show examples
and athletic. If we use phones too much, light from screen phones can make our eyes weaker and injured.
Also
Linking Words
,
ther
Correct your spelling
there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
some fake information that
effect
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effects
show examples
our popular human life badly. In sum
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, we have to use
Correct article usage
the phone
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
useful
Add an article
the useful
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and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
right way that can
service
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serve
show examples
good
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
in life.
Avoid
Wrong verb form
Avoiding
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some bad
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
and
knownledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
or
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
more
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
information can help our
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
or work
increasedly
Correct your spelling
increase
.
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task achievement
The essay attempts to address the question of whether the advantages of smartphones outweigh the disadvantages but fails to construct a clear and persuasive argument due to numerous grammatical errors and unclear expressions. Aim to use a structured format for your arguments and consider the clarity of your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, with ideas presented in a disorganized manner. Introductions and conclusions must be more clearly defined. Use paragraphing to enhance the organization of the text. Transition words and phrases should be used to better link thoughts and arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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