In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?

#today’s #world #people #smartphone

Nowsaday

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

, many people have

Change the word

their

show examples

own

smartphone

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smartphones

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specially

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especially

show examples

teenagers.

Phone

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The phone

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a convenient and smart equipment

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convenient and smart equipment

a piece of convenient and smart equipment

show examples

Ther

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There

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are some benefits that help humans get in touch or

knownledge

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knowledge

in social media. The first

advantages

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advantage

show examples

Correct article usage

the convenient

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convenient

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convenience

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to get

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of getting

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in touch and talking from far

way

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away

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. That

mean

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means

show examples

we can call,

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and chatting

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chatting

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chat

show examples

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show examples

phone

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the phone

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between

peoples

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people

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, not only near our but

also

far from other places. It is more modern than

write

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writing

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a letter in the past so

help

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helps

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people

contract

Verb problem

communicate

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with others quickly. The other

advantages

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advantage

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is connect

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is connected

is connecting

show examples

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show examples

internet

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the internet

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softly. We can study,

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and work

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work

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and work

show examples

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show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

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the

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website

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websites

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that

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has

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have

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has

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wifi to connect

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to social

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social

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to social

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media.

Conquently

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Consequently

, humans will

knownledge

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knowledge

acknowledge

explore

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and explore

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a new

thing

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things

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that benefit

for

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apply

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those life

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that life

those lives

show examples

For example

, in

Covid-19

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COVID-19

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, we couldn’t go to school so many students

was

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apply

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participated in online

class

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classes

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through

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their school websites.

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show examples

the other hand, there are some disadvantages

can

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that can

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effect

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affect

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our

live

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lives

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and athletic. If we use phones too much, light from screen phones can make our eyes weaker and injured.

Also

ther

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there

are

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show examples

some fake information that

effect

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effects

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our popular human life badly. In sum

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apply

show examples

, we have to use

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the phone

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phone

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phones

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useful

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the useful

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and

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apply

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right way that can

service

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serve

show examples

good

thing

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things

show examples

in life.

Avoid

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Avoiding

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some bad

way

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ways

show examples

and

knownledge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

explore

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exploring

show examples

benefit

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beneficial

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information can help our

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

or work

increasedly

Correct your spelling

increase

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Jan 10 2024

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task achievement

The essay attempts to address the question of whether the advantages of smartphones outweigh the disadvantages but fails to construct a clear and persuasive argument due to numerous grammatical errors and unclear expressions. Aim to use a structured format for your arguments and consider the clarity of your thesis statement.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is weak, with ideas presented in a disorganized manner. Introductions and conclusions must be more clearly defined. Use paragraphing to enhance the organization of the text. Transition words and phrases should be used to better link thoughts and arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
68Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

222 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

You stayed at a hotel to attend a company meeting and you were dissatisfied with your stay. Write a letter to the meeting organiser. In your letter – Provide the details of your meeting – Explain what you were dissatisfied with – Suggest what the hotel should do to resolve the issue.

In recent years, women's roles have changed dramatically. What changes have occurred? Do you think these changes are positive or negative

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people say that human society has developed into a throw-away society, which is filled with plastic bags and rubbish. What are the causes and solutions?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+