In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?
Nowsaday
, many people have Correct your spelling
Nowadays
a
own Change the word
their
smartphone
, Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
specially
teenagers. Replace the word
especially
Phone
is Add an article
The phone
a convenient and smart equipment
. Remove the article
convenient and smart equipment
a piece of convenient and smart equipment
Ther
are some benefits that help humans get in touch or Correct your spelling
There
knownledge
in social media.
The first Correct your spelling
knowledge
advantages
is Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
Correct article usage
the convenient
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
to get
in touch and talking from far Change preposition
of getting
way
. That Correct your spelling
away
mean
we can call, Change the verb form
means
Correct word choice
and chatting
chatting
Wrong verb form
chat
in
Change preposition
on
phone
between Correct article usage
the phone
peoples
, not only near our but Fix the agreement mistake
people
also
far from other places. It is more modern than write
a letter in the past so Change the verb form
writing
help
people Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
contract
with others quickly.
The other Verb problem
communicate
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
is connect
Change the verb form
is connected
is connecting
in
Change preposition
to
internet
softly. We can study, Correct article usage
the internet
Correct word choice
and work
work
Correct word choice
and work
Change preposition
on
in
Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
a
the
Correct article usage
a
website
that Fix the agreement mistake
websites
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
have
wifi to connect Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Change preposition
to social
social
media. Change preposition
to social
Conquently
, humans will Correct your spelling
Consequently
knownledge
, Correct your spelling
knowledge
acknowledge
explore
a new Correct word choice
and explore
thing
that benefit Fix the agreement mistake
things
for
Change preposition
apply
those life
. Change the determiner
that life
those lives
For example
, in Covid-19
, we couldn’t go to school so many students Correct your spelling
COVID-19
was
participated in online Unnecessary verb
apply
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
by
their school websites.
Change preposition
through
In
the other hand, there are some disadvantages Change preposition
On
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
effect
our Correct your spelling
affect
live
and athletic. If we use phones too much, light from screen phones can make our eyes weaker and injured. Replace the word
lives
Also
, ther
Correct your spelling
there
are
some fake information that Correct subject-verb agreement
is
effect
our popular human life badly.
In sumChange the verb form
effects
up
, we have to use Change preposition
apply
Correct article usage
the phone
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
useful
Add an article
the useful
and
right way that can Correct word choice
apply
service
good Replace the word
serve
thing
in life. Fix the agreement mistake
things
Avoid
some bad Wrong verb form
Avoiding
way
and Fix the agreement mistake
ways
knownledge
or Correct your spelling
knowledge
explore
more Wrong verb form
exploring
benefit
information can help our Replace the word
beneficial
study
or work Fix the agreement mistake
studies
increasedly
.Correct your spelling
increase
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task achievement
The essay attempts to address the question of whether the advantages of smartphones outweigh the disadvantages but fails to construct a clear and persuasive argument due to numerous grammatical errors and unclear expressions. Aim to use a structured format for your arguments and consider the clarity of your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, with ideas presented in a disorganized manner. Introductions and conclusions must be more clearly defined. Use paragraphing to enhance the organization of the text. Transition words and phrases should be used to better link thoughts and arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.