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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the number of households by their annual salary in 2007, 2011 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the data
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
taken
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, it can be seen that the amount of money for some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens who had less than $25,000 is the least,
while
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tha
Correct your spelling
the
 share of salary for some populatian
whi
Correct your spelling
who
 had $1000,000 million or more is the biggest over the 3 years.
Initially
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, the share of salary of the people who had $75,000-$99,999 was approximately 15% in the 3 years,
whereas
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 the amount of income for those who had $50,000-$74,999 was about 20%
then
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.
Furthermore
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,
according to
Linking Words
 the people
who their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 annual income was $25,000-$49,999,
initially
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 was around 20% and the following year
minimaly
Correct your spelling
minimally
minimal
 increased by 5%
finally
Linking Words
 in 2015 witnessed a minimal decline to 27%. Meanwhile, the proportion of people who had $75,000-$99,999 was less than $25,000
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
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 between 25% and 30%.
In addition
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, the share of those who had $100,000 or more million income,
initially
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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25% and
smal
Correct your spelling
small
 increased to approximately 27% in 2011
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 experienced a peak
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
33% in the final year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, initially".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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