Employers somtimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information. Such as their habbies and interests, and whether thay are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #somtimes #people #jobs #information #habbies #interests #thay

For some

companies

, individual

information

is needed when

people

seeking for

job

Change the noun form

jobs

show examples

like their hobbies and interests. Some

people

think

that is

not important

while

some find it useful.

This

essay will discuss both of their views and my opinion.

To begin

with, some

people

think they are not necessary because the

job

that they are applying for is not relevant to their interests.

For example

, if you are applying for a

job

that is

related to accounting

while

your hobby is swimming, will

this

information

be helpful for the employer?

However

, sometimes the employees' personal

information

can help

companies

provide more suitable jobs for them, especially those

people

who are just finishing their studies and have no idea or direction for their career. If they send the profile to the

companies

that have many departments,

companies

may give a

job

for them which is

according to

their individual

information

. In conclusion, I think the advantages of providing personal

information

outweighs

Correct subject-verb agreement

outweigh

show examples

the disadvantages.

Submitted by callachan8 on Wed Jan 10 2024

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task achievement

The essay partially addresses the prompt, but further exploration of both views is necessary for a comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

While an introduction and conclusion are present, they are not fully developed. Expand and clarify your initial position and concluding thoughts to enhance engagement.

task achievement

The main points are supported to an extent, but the argument would benefit from more relevant examples and detailed explanations to strengthen the analysis.

task achievement

Examples are minimal and lack specificity. To score higher, include detailed examples that clearly support your points and are relevant to the prompt.

coherence cohesion

Your essay shows some organization, but ideas could be connected more effectively. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

163 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural fit
Soft skills
Relocation
Discriminatory practices
Competence
Correlation
Privacy
Equality
Stereotypes
Biases
Varied importance
Professional capacity
Extracurricular activities
Diversity
Inclusivity

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Employers somtimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information. Such as their habbies and interests, and whether thay are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that products should be made to last as long as possible, while others think making the products cheap is more important. Discuss both views and express your own opinion.

It Is Important for People to Take Risks, Both in Their Professional Lives and Their Personal Lives. Do You Think the Advantages of Taking Risks Outweigh the Disadvantages?

Environmental damage is the problem of most countries. What factors damage the environment and who should take responsibility?

Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.