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Employers somtimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information. Such as their habbies and interests, and whether thay are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #somtimes #people #jobs #information #habbies #interests #thay
For some
companies
, individual
information
 is needed when
people
 seeking for
job
Change the noun form
jobs
show examples
 like their hobbies and interests. Some
people
 think
that is
 not important
while
 some find it useful.
This
 essay will discuss both of their views and my opinion.
To begin
 with, some
people
 think they are not necessary because the
job
 that they are applying for is not relevant to their interests.
For example
, if you are applying for a
job
that is
 related to accounting
while
 your hobby is swimming, will
this
information
 be helpful for the employer?
However
, sometimes the employees' personal
information
 can help
companies
 provide more suitable jobs for them, especially those
people
 who are just finishing their studies and have no idea or direction for their career. If they send the profile to the
companies
 that have many departments,
companies
 may give a
job
 for them which is
according to
 their individual
information
. In conclusion, I think the advantages of providing personal
information
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages.
Submitted by callachan8 on

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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but further exploration of both views is necessary for a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they are not fully developed. Expand and clarify your initial position and concluding thoughts to enhance engagement.
task achievement
The main points are supported to an extent, but the argument would benefit from more relevant examples and detailed explanations to strengthen the analysis.
task achievement
Examples are minimal and lack specificity. To score higher, include detailed examples that clearly support your points and are relevant to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows some organization, but ideas could be connected more effectively. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural fit
  • Soft skills
  • Relocation
  • Discriminatory practices
  • Competence
  • Correlation
  • Privacy
  • Equality
  • Stereotypes
  • Biases
  • Varied importance
  • Professional capacity
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Diversity
  • Inclusivity
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