The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The diagram shows the proportion of
time
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that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents in Australia spent assisting their
children
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with dressing, homework, playing
games
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and preparing for bed in the year 2013.
Overall
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, the
mothers
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dedicated most
their
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of their
show examples
time
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in
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to
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helping
children
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with dressing whilst the
fathers
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used more
time
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in helping
children
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with their
games
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.
To begin
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with,
mothers
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are seen to be spending more of their
time
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in
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apply
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assisting their young stars with dressing.
Mothers
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spent about 75% in total doing
this
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.
Mre
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More
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importantly,
fathers
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and
mothers
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also
Linking Words
spent
majority
Add an article
the majority
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of their
time
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which amounts to approximately 70%
in
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apply
show examples
assisting their
children
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on
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with
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how
games
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are played.
Linking Words
Further more
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Furthermore
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, it can be seen that both
mothers
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and
fathers
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spent the same hours
of
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apply
show examples
around 50% in both dressing and preparing
children
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to
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for
show examples
bed. It is
also
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crucial to point out that
fathers
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alone contributed the least in assisting
children
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. In assisting
children
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with dressing, homework, playing
games
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and bed
preperation
Correct your spelling
preparation
,
fathers
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spent around 1%,10%, 5% and 3% respectively.
Submitted by tafadzwakguruza on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, children, games, mothers, fathers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • time spent
  • Australian mothers
  • fathers
  • helping
  • children
  • activities
  • reading
  • homework
  • playing sports
  • general play
  • comparison
  • 2013
  • significantly
  • difference
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