IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Topic: Study abroad can be highly motivational for students and also inspire their dreams. However, whilst studying abroad can have a number of positive effects on students, there are also many difficulties that they may meet along the way. With this is in mind, it is more advantages to study at home. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, studying
aboad
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abroad
aboard
much
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is much
show examples
 easier,
in addition
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 to various types of
opportunity
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opportunities
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 that help
students
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 to choose their dream major.
However
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, they maybe face many barriers that could upset them,
although
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, the
positievs
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positives
 of
this
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 experience will be as a reward.
This
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 essay will
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discuss
disscus
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discuss
 the advantages and
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disadvantages
diadvantages
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disadvantages
 of studying abroad,
in addition
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 to
advantages
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the advantages
show examples
 of studying at home>
Firstly
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, it is widely accepted that
students
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 who travel a lot gain more life
experince
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experience
. In a
majorty
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majority
 of
students
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 who studied abroad
has
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have
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 more
self confidence
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self-confidence
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. The main advantage of studying abroad is facing
responsibilties
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responsibilities
. When
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student
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students
show examples
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 alone in a country, they
forced
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are forced
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 to do many tasks that
had
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have
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 been done for them.
In
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An
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 example
to
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of
show examples
this
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 case, is cooking, doing laundry and
cleaing
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cleaning
 their room.
Moreover
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,
students
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 learn to take care of their
sleves
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selves
sleeves
 and be more mature in many things
such
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 as money control and being in
healthy
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a healthy
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 lifestyle. It is often said that
students
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 who studied in another country
has
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have
show examples
 more
knowldge
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knowledge
 than others, which
make
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makes
show examples
this
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 feature
second
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a second
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 advantage. There is a tendency for
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student
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students
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 to know more about different
culture
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cultures
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 after being abroad. The disadvantage may be
on
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apply
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security. Generally speaking,
thera
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there
 are countries has law percentage of security which
make
Verb problem
puts
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students
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 in danger. An example, Dubai is
Correct pronoun usage
one from
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from
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of
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 the safest cities in the world,
as a
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result
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result,
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students
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 always will feel safe at all times.
This
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 means citizens of Dubai will prefer
study
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to study
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 at home rather than abroad. In conclusion, I totally agree with studying abroad,
that is
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 because
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student
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students
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 will have the chance to
expolre
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explore
 the world and
know
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learn
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 about other cultures.
Furthermore
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,
advantages
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the advantages
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on
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of
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 personality will help the
student
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 a lot
such
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 as being responsible and confident.

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task response
You should focus on creating a clear introductory paragraph that presents the topic and outlines your position clearly. Your introduction is a bit vague and does not clearly establish your standpoint on the question of whether it is more advantageous to study at home or abroad.
task response
Try to establish clear arguments for why studying abroad or at home may be more beneficial. Your support for your claims needs to be more developed. While you present some advantages and disadvantages, they require further explanation and stronger support through relevant examples. For instance, when discussing the responsibility gained by studying abroad, you could provide more detailed instances of how this occurs and its positive impacts on students.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of paragraph structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples and explanations. Your paragraphs blend different ideas together, sometimes without clearly distinct examples to support them. Work on connecting these ideas back to the question to make sure they are relevant to the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay follows a logical sequence. Here, the progression from one point to the next can be somewhat jumpy and disjointed. Creating an outline before writing can help you logically structure your essay and connect ideas appropriately.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens students' horizons
  • global awareness
  • educational facilities
  • intercultural communication
  • financial strain
  • cost of living
  • homesickness
  • cultural shock
  • mental health
  • academic performance
  • networking opportunities
  • career prospects
  • government policies
  • visa restrictions
  • support systems
  • adapting to a new culture
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