Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development ?

In
todays'
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today's
show examples
modern era, we are facing lots of alterations in different fields. One of which is
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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many large corporations are invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In my point of view,
this
can solve more problems than creates. To achieve a clear picture;
this
matter needs to be seen
into
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in
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a wider context.
Involvment
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Involvement
of
compaines
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companies
in
sports
can be beneficial in every
aspects
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aspect
show examples
.
This
helps
sports
to become more professional, which increases the quality of the contests.
This
would bring about
participation
Add an article
the participation
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of more spectators in the competitions, leading to financial profits for investors and athletes both. The
contrsasting
Correct your spelling
contrasting
contracting
view,
however
, alleges that if professionalism enters,
sports
' spirit would be destroyed. For all the apparent greatness of
sports
' spirit, it would be in all people's interests if different
plays
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players
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become
pro
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pros
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.
Furthermore
, when sporting events have richer investors, better
insfrastructures
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infrastructures
infrastructure
and amenities can be made.
This
would help athletes to improve their skills, and
then
it
generate
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generates
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the chance of success for the teams.
It is clear that
such
developments can,
therefore
, lead to international championships.
For example
, when
Spain
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Spain's
show examples
national team won the Fifa world cup trophy in the year 2010; all the players
claim
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claimed
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that
this
achievement was
due to
the great equipment and
sports'
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sports
show examples
facilities
thay
Correct your spelling
that
they had. Meanwhile, some people mistakenly think that
sports
should be done just for health, which is too unrealistic to become practical. In conclusion, I believe from the time that sport became a business; it has been experiencing great victories in different terms.
Hence
, it is a matter with lots of merits.
Submitted by alifarzaneh on

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task achievement
Maintain a clear position throughout your response and ensure that your main ideas are thoroughly explained and expanded upon.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a logical flow of ideas from introduction to conclusion, and use a range of cohesive devices effectively.
task achievement
Provide more relevant, detailed examples to support your arguments. This strengthens the impact of your points and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Avoid spelling and grammatical mistakes such as 'Involvment' which should be 'Involvement', and 'contrsasting' which should be 'contrasting' for better clarity and accuracy.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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