Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowl- edge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#health #warnings #people #smoke #world #reason #knowl- #edge

There is no doubt that these days smoking has become a very common habit worldwide. The question is, why should we be concerned about

this

and what can we do to stop it? In

this

essay, I am going to discuss the effects of smoking and how to solve

this

dilemma. In terms of problems, smoking is a huge hazard to not only humanity but

also

all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other living things. The main reason given to support

this

claim is that smoking produces innumerable toxins that not only harm our bodies but

also

our atmosphere. To illustrate, the evident hole in our ozone layer.

In other words

, we should be concerned about the rising rates of

smokers

because it is giving way to a poor and unhealthy future.

Moreover

, smoking is leading to new diseases every day not just for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smokers

but mostly for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

non-

smokers

Firstly

, our biggest concern should be the veil

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

people have thrown on the health warnings caused by smoking.

In other words

, the continued ignorance of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smokers

is leading to fatal effects on everyone inhaling the toxins.

Secondly

, our focus should be shifting from just being concerned

Change preposition

with

show examples

actually taking action.

This

is because ‘concern’ is not going to reduce the number of

smokers

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

affects

Correct your spelling

effects

show examples

. Action is.

Also

smoker’s

Correct your spelling

smokers

show examples

themselves find it nearly impossible to give up

this

self-destroying habit,

therefore

, we need to take the initiative to aid them and make it simpler. In conclusion, it is evident that the population of

smokers

is increasing at a rapid rate and so is their ignorance

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health warnings. The

multimillion dollar

Add a hyphen

multimillion-dollar

show examples

industry itself must ensure steps are taken to prevent

this

phenomenon from deteriorating

further

Submitted by bader.salem2001 on Thu Jan 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure clear, logical progression in your ideas throughout the essay. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing appropriately to enhance the essay's structure.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task. Expand your ideas and examples sufficiently to cover the prompt's questions and ensure a balanced approach in discussing issues and suggesting solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

285 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowl- edge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

For some people, learning in a group is the most effective method while others prefer one-on-one instruction. Discuss both ideas. What is your opinion?

Some say that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Completeing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. Other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

The development of technology has resulted in more employees working from home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?