IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Do you agree or disagree with different jobs for men and women?

#jobs #men #women
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is sometimes believed that there is
gender
 discrimination in occupational categories.
While
 accepting that
this
 viewpoint is somewhat reasonable, I would contend that everyone can do every
job
 they want. There are several reasons why there are different
jobs
 for different genders. For one, the key rationale behind
this
 thought is that some
job
 requirements the physical and psychological. In fact, we can see almost
men
Correct determiner usage
all men
show examples
 are stronger than women physically. In the past, people said that
men
 were the breadwinners of the family, in recent years, heavy-lifting
jobs
 often require high health.
In addition
 to
this
, society still has
gender
 discrimination when some
job
 positions require
gender
.
As a result
, I prefer that there are some
jobs
 for only
men
 or only women, but I strongly believe that only
gender
 balance in every profession will help society become better Despite the above argument, I firmly believe that the equality of
gender
 in society is an important thing that we should attention to. It must first be recognized that gendered
job
 assignments can limit the talent pool for certain industries, potentially hampering economic growth and innovation.
This
 is because segregating
jobs
 by
gender
 reinforces stereotypes and impedes progress towards
gender
 equality, it denies individuals the freedom to choose careers based on their passions and skills.
For example
, in Vietnam, there are some
jobs
 that in the past were only for women like household or receptionist, but nowadays they are for
men
 too. In conclusion,
while
 it is true to some experts that there are some
jobs
 for each
gender
, I would maintain that every
gender
 can do every
job
 they want.
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task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples from a variety of sources to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic, and your conclusion effectively summarizes and reaffirms your position.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using more cohesive devices (e.g., therefore, however, moreover). This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive by breaking them down into smaller, more digestible concepts before expanding on them with arguments and examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical context
  • Societal norms
  • Physical capability
  • Psychological differences
  • Gender stereotypes
  • Economic implications
  • Talent pool
  • Innovation
  • Diversity
  • Creativity
  • Gender equality
  • Social justice
  • Segregating
  • Case studies
  • Breaking gender norms
  • Career choices
  • Outcomes
What to do next:
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