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Writing Samples
Band 5

There is an increasing trend around the world towards having a small family rather than a large family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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A lot of people nowadays prefer to build a small family
instead
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 of having a large family. In
this
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 essay,
i
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I
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 will explain why the benefits of having a small family overshadow the potential drawbacks.
Firstly
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, building a family needs a large amount of
money
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. To illustrate, adding more family members will increase the cost
need
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needed
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 to be prepared,
thus
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parents
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’ focus will be placed on how to make more
money
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 rather than take care of their
children
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 properly.
As a result
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, the
children
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 will experience a lack of attention from their
parents
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and
Correct word choice
which
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 might result in
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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attention-seeking
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Besides
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 that,
parents
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 will have no
time
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 to focus on themselves
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 might cause other problems,
such
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 as depression and stress.
Secondly
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, if the
parents
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 failed to fulfill their family needs, it would result in poverty,
lack
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and lack
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 of nutrition, and their
children
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 might experience low education.
On the other hand
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, by having a small number of family,
parents
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 will have more
time
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 to do
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other activities to relieve their stress,
thus
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 increasing their capability to make more
money
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 and leading to a good quality of life.
Secondly
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, they can take care of their family well since they can allocate their extra
time
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 to do activities
together with
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 the family,
for
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example
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example,
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 to talk with their
children
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 so they will have heart-to-heart
discussion
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discussions
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, resulting in a strong
bound
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bond
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 between
parents
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 and
children
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. The
money
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 they have can
also
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 be allocated to maximize
family’s
Correct article usage
the family’s
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 needs. In conclusion, building a large family offers many drawbacks like low quality of life, bad relationships between
parents
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 and
children
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, and even poverty.
However
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, by having a small family, people can have more
time
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 for themselves, good relationships between child and parent, and maximizing the family needs.
Therefore
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 remain firmly convinced that the merits can cover the demerits.

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure to provide a complete response to the prompt by offering a balanced discussion on both advantages and disadvantages before reaching a conclusion. While you have presented your conclusion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, you could incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on creating a more logical flow by connecting ideas more effectively. Use varied linking words and create clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph for improved readability. Ensure your ideas progress naturally from one to the other, and that there are clear links between sentences and paragraphs.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Living standards
  • Concentrated resources
  • Parent-child bonding
  • Upbringing
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Supportive network
  • Cooperation
  • Multigenerational
  • Cultural traditions
  • Agricultural communities
  • Loneliness
  • Social competencies
  • Financial strain
  • Resource dilution
  • Education opportunities
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