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There is an increasing trend around the world towards having a small family rather than a large family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#trend #world
A lot of people nowadays prefer to build a small family
instead
 of having a large family. In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain why the benefits of having a small family overshadow the potential drawbacks.
Firstly
, building a family needs a large amount of
money
. To illustrate, adding more family members will increase the cost
need
Replace the word
needed
show examples
 to be prepared,
thus
parents
’ focus will be placed on how to make more
money
 rather than take care of their
children
 properly.
As a result
, the
children
 will experience a lack of attention from their
parents
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 might result in
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
attention-seeking
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Besides
 that,
parents
 will have no
time
 to focus on themselves
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 might cause other problems,
such
 as depression and stress.
Secondly
, if the
parents
 failed to fulfill their family needs, it would result in poverty,
lack
Correct word choice
and lack
show examples
 of nutrition, and their
children
 might experience low education.
On the other hand
, by having a small number of family,
parents
 will have more
time
 to do
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other activities to relieve their stress,
thus
 increasing their capability to make more
money
 and leading to a good quality of life.
Secondly
, they can take care of their family well since they can allocate their extra
time
 to do activities
together with
 the family,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 to talk with their
children
 so they will have heart-to-heart
discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
show examples
, resulting in a strong
bound
Correct your spelling
bond
show examples
 between
parents
 and
children
. The
money
 they have can
also
 be allocated to maximize
family’s
Correct article usage
the family’s
show examples
 needs. In conclusion, building a large family offers many drawbacks like low quality of life, bad relationships between
parents
 and
children
, and even poverty.
However
, by having a small family, people can have more
time
 for themselves, good relationships between child and parent, and maximizing the family needs.
Therefore
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 remain firmly convinced that the merits can cover the demerits.
Submitted by stacya.wijaya20 on

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure to provide a complete response to the prompt by offering a balanced discussion on both advantages and disadvantages before reaching a conclusion. While you have presented your conclusion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, you could incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on creating a more logical flow by connecting ideas more effectively. Use varied linking words and create clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph for improved readability. Ensure your ideas progress naturally from one to the other, and that there are clear links between sentences and paragraphs.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Living standards
  • Concentrated resources
  • Parent-child bonding
  • Upbringing
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Supportive network
  • Cooperation
  • Multigenerational
  • Cultural traditions
  • Agricultural communities
  • Loneliness
  • Social competencies
  • Financial strain
  • Resource dilution
  • Education opportunities
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