There is an increasing trend around the world towards having a small family rather than a large family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
A lot of people nowadays prefer to build a small family
instead
of having a large family. In this
essay, i
will explain why the benefits of having a small family overshadow the potential drawbacks.
Change the capitalization
I
Firstly
, building a family needs a large amount of money
. To illustrate, adding more family members will increase the cost need
to be prepared, Replace the word
needed
thus
parents
’ focus will be placed on how to make more money
rather than take care of their children
properly. As a result
, the children
will experience a lack of attention from their parents
and
might result in Correct word choice
which
any
attention-seeking Correct quantifier usage
apply
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
Besides
that, parents
will have no time
to focus on themselves that
might cause other problems, Correct pronoun usage
which
such
as depression and stress. Secondly
, if the parents
failed to fulfill their family needs, it would result in poverty, lack
of nutrition, and their Correct word choice
and lack
children
might experience low education.
On the other hand
, by having a small number of family, parents
will have more time
to do any
other activities to relieve their stress, Correct quantifier usage
apply
thus
increasing their capability to make more money
and leading to a good quality of life. Secondly
, they can take care of their family well since they can allocate their extra time
to do activities together with
the family, for
example
to talk with their Add the comma(s)
example,
children
so they will have heart-to-heart discussion
, resulting in a strong Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
bound
between Correct your spelling
bond
parents
and children
. The money
they have can also
be allocated to maximize family’s
needs.
In conclusion, building a large family offers many drawbacks like low quality of life, bad relationships between Correct article usage
the family’s
parents
and children
, and even poverty. However
, by having a small family, people can have more time
for themselves, good relationships between child and parent, and maximizing the family needs. Therefore
, i
remain firmly convinced that the merits can cover the demerits.Change the capitalization
I
Submitted by stacya.wijaya20 on
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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure to provide a complete response to the prompt by offering a balanced discussion on both advantages and disadvantages before reaching a conclusion. While you have presented your conclusion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, you could incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, work on creating a more logical flow by connecting ideas more effectively. Use varied linking words and create clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph for improved readability. Ensure your ideas progress naturally from one to the other, and that there are clear links between sentences and paragraphs.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...