Some businesses find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skill. What are the causes and suggest possible solutions.

Some organisations believe that their new staff are not qualified enough in some positive
charachterstic
Correct your spelling
characteristic
characteristics
points
such
as being cooperative
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
other colleagues. In recent
era
Fix the agreement mistake
eras
show examples
,
due to
prioritizing
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
values
in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
with collective
values
some skills
such
coaporating
Correct your spelling
as cooperation
and
team working has
Wrong verb form
teamwork have
show examples
diminished. It is a
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
accomplishment for any organisation to have
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
team
Change preposition
in which
show examples
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
the
memebers
Correct your spelling
members
are in a
Replace the word
harmonious
show examples
harmony
Replace the word
harmonious
show examples
and friendly relationship.
The personal
Correct article usage
Personal
show examples
values
and considering them
exessively
Correct your spelling
excessively
will treat people with
charachteristic
Correct your spelling
characteristic
characteristics
points who are not capable of understanding and accepting other's
values
.
Due to
their
Correct your spelling
approach
approaches
approachs
Add a comma
approachs,
show examples
they can't adapt themselves
with
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to
show examples
others and it will be difficult for them to socialize with
other
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others
show examples
.
Also
recent decades and by
Correct article usage
the incresing
show examples
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
of devoting long hours to social media and replacing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real relationships with cyber
relationshgip
Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
and through phones and
copmuters
Correct your spelling
computers
, people's
abilitis
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ability
abilities
to socialize together has reduced.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
lack of social skills could lead them in a way which are not able to become cooperative . To avoid the drawbacks of
this
issu
Correct your spelling
issue
, companies should try to expand their collective
goals
to their employees and provide
Correct article usage
a iworking
show examples
iworking invironment
Correct your spelling
working environment
in a way that
persuade
Change the verb form
persuades
show examples
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
to accept these
goals
as their own
goals
. To achieve these
goals
, they could use rewards
which are belonging
Wrong verb form
that belong
show examples
to
team
working and
instead
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal achievements they value the
team
achievements.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
they could plan some events and parties that let colleagues get
to gether
Correct your spelling
together
show examples
and have fun with each other. Spending memorable and pleasant
tgime
Correct your spelling
times
could boost
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
intimacy and encourage them to work as a
team
with common
goals
and priorities .
To conclude
,
although
people these days show
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of behaving in a cooperative way ,
but
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apply
show examples
companies by providing some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
such
as collective rewards and
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
preparing some events and parties could help their employees to boost their
relatioship
Correct your spelling
relationship
skills and work as a united
team
.
Submitted by zohal21 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt to address the prompt, yet it requires improvement in logical structure. The ideas presented need to be organized more effectively to enhance clarity and to ensure the progression of ideas is easy to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present but could be more effectively formulated. The introduction should clearly state the purpose of the essay and outline the main points that will be discussed, which was somewhat vague in the response. Similarly, the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate the thesis in light of the discussion provided.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are present but lack full development. To improve, each paragraph should focus on one main idea and explore it in depth. Providing more specific examples and evidence would also help to support the arguments made and enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
The response is somewhat adequate in terms of completing the task, but it requires additional details to enrich the content. Make sure that all parts of the task are fully addressed and the response remains focused on the question throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented in the essay could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Strive to present each point concisely and ensure that the ideas are fully expanded upon to provide a thorough discussion of the topic.
Task Achievement
The use of examples is crucial to substantiating the points made, but the essay currently lacks relevant and specific examples. It is important to incorporate concrete examples that directly relate to the arguments being made to strengthen the credibility and persuasiveness of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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