Some businesses find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skill. What are the causes and suggest possible solutions.
Some organisations believe that their new staff are not qualified enough in some positive
charachterstic
points Correct your spelling
characteristic
characteristics
such
as being cooperative to
other colleagues. In recent Change preposition
with
era
, Fix the agreement mistake
eras
due to
prioritizing individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
values
in compare
with collective Replace the word
comparison
values
some skills such
coaporating
and Correct your spelling
as cooperation
team working has
diminished. It is a Wrong verb form
teamwork have
crutial
accomplishment for any organisation to have Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
Correct article usage
a successful
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
team
Change preposition
in which
which
the Change preposition
in which
memebers
are in a Correct your spelling
members
Replace the word
harmonious
harmony
and friendly relationship.
Replace the word
harmonious
The personal
Correct article usage
Personal
values
and considering them exessively
will treat people with Correct your spelling
excessively
charachteristic
points who are not capable of understanding and accepting other's Correct your spelling
characteristic
characteristics
values
. Due to
their Correct your spelling
approach
approaches
approachs
they can't adapt themselves Add a comma
approachs,
with
others and it will be difficult for them to socialize with Change preposition
to
other
.Fix the agreement mistake
others
Also
recent decades and by Correct article usage
the incresing
incresing
of devoting long hours to social media and replacing Correct your spelling
increasing
the
real relationships with cyber Correct article usage
apply
relationshgip
and through phones and Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
copmuters
, people's Correct your spelling
computers
abilitis
to socialize together has reduced. Correct your spelling
ability
abilities
These
lack of social skills could lead them in a way which are not able to become cooperative .
To avoid the drawbacks of Correct determiner usage
This
this
issu
, companies should try to expand their collective Correct your spelling
issue
goals
to their employees and provide Correct article usage
a iworking
iworking invironment
in a way that Correct your spelling
working environment
persuade
Change the verb form
persuades
staffs
to accept these Fix the agreement mistake
staff
goals
as their own goals
. To achieve these goals
, they could use rewards which are belonging
to Wrong verb form
that belong
team
working and instead
of the
personal achievements they value the Correct article usage
apply
team
achievements. Also
they could plan some events and parties that let colleagues get Add a comma
Also,
to gether
and have fun with each other. Spending memorable and pleasant Correct your spelling
together
tgime
could boost Correct your spelling
times
peoples
intimacy and encourage them to work as a Change noun form
people's
team
with common goals
and priorities .
To conclude
,although
people these days show lack
of behaving in a cooperative way , Correct article usage
a lack
but
companies by providing some Remove the conjunction
apply
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
such
as collective rewards and with
preparing some events and parties could help their employees to boost their Change preposition
apply
relatioship
skills and work as a united Correct your spelling
relationship
team
.Submitted by zohal21 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt to address the prompt, yet it requires improvement in logical structure. The ideas presented need to be organized more effectively to enhance clarity and to ensure the progression of ideas is easy to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present but could be more effectively formulated. The introduction should clearly state the purpose of the essay and outline the main points that will be discussed, which was somewhat vague in the response. Similarly, the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate the thesis in light of the discussion provided.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are present but lack full development. To improve, each paragraph should focus on one main idea and explore it in depth. Providing more specific examples and evidence would also help to support the arguments made and enhance the logical flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
The response is somewhat adequate in terms of completing the task, but it requires additional details to enrich the content. Make sure that all parts of the task are fully addressed and the response remains focused on the question throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented in the essay could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Strive to present each point concisely and ensure that the ideas are fully expanded upon to provide a thorough discussion of the topic.
Task Achievement
The use of examples is crucial to substantiating the points made, but the essay currently lacks relevant and specific examples. It is important to incorporate concrete examples that directly relate to the arguments being made to strengthen the credibility and persuasiveness of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.