IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows labour force employment in the USA between 1930 and 2010

The graph below shows labour force employment in the USA between 1930 and 2010
#labour #force #employment #usa
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph depicts the
labour
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
employment
Use synonyms
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 between 1930 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
employment
Use synonyms
 in Farming, Fishing and Foresting showed a dramatic decrease over the years
while
Linking Words
 the involvement in other services remained almost unchanged with fluctuations.The jobs for the
labour
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
 in the rest of the
sectors
Use synonyms
 increased over time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the highest
labour
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
employment
Use synonyms
 in 1930 was recorded in the Farming, Fishing and Foresting
sectors
Use synonyms
 which were nearly 7 times higher (70%) than the rest of the
sectors
Use synonyms
. But it decreased dramatically over the years to just above 0 in 2010.The second highest
jobs
Correct quantifier usage
number of jobs
show examples
 were generated in other industries and
employment
Use synonyms
 fluctuated between 5% to 20% throughout the years. Moving to the rest of the
sectors
Use synonyms
, the
labour
Use synonyms
force
Use synonyms
employment
Use synonyms
 in Industrial,Sales and office and Technical was nearly under 5% in 1930 and witnessed quite a similar trend until mid-1970 at just above 10% before
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
 sector continued to grow rapidly to reach just below 40% in 1980 and afterwards.
Submitted by nir.paba6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words labour, force, employment, sectors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: