Some people say it is important to keep yor home and workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place. what is your opinion about this?
It is said that having a tidy and well-organized home and
workplace
is important. I strongly agree with this
idea because this
has many benefits, such
as,
improving your physical health, making your mood better and increasing productivity. Remove the comma
apply
And in
Correct word choice
In
this
essay, I will explain how these have to do with tidying up your room.
First of all, when you leave your house
dirty. Dust and germs will accumulate everywhere. And if you leave some area unattended for a long time, some animals might inhabit there. For example
, a rat, with leptospirosis, might lives
Change the verb form
live
in
the same roof Change preposition
under
with
you and make Change preposition
as
you
easier to be infected. Correct pronoun usage
it
Therefore
, cleaning you
Change the pronoun
your
house
make
you become less vulnerable and improve your health.
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Second,
when you stay in a neatly clean and organized place. Your mind will be relax
. To illustrate, a Japanese dry garden or Zen garden, with minimal style and composed arrangement of rocks, water and bush, Change the verb form
be relaxed
be relaxing
make
visitors feel calm by just sitting there and Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
watch
the garden. Wrong verb form
watching
For
this
reason, the well-arranged room improves your mental status too.
Moreover
, when you organize your things at your house
or your workplace
. You will remember where to look for when
you need them and Correct pronoun usage
them when
it
will be in the easy to reach Correct pronoun usage
they
place
. Add an article
the place
Hence
, tidying your workplace
can increase your productivity and make you work more efficiently.
In conclusion, tidying up and organizing your place are
not only about Change the verb form
is
to make
it clean and neat. Because of Change the verb form
making
influences
of Correct article usage
the influences
an
environment Correct article usage
the
to
body and mind, keeping your room tidied and arranged can improve Change preposition
on
you
physical and mental health. Correct pronoun usage
your
Furthermore
, keeping your workplace
well-organized can make you work easier and more effectively too. Thus
, my opinion on this
matter is that everyone should have their house
or workplace
cleaned and organized so that they can live in their house
with healthy body
and Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
mind
and Fix the agreement mistake
minds
working
efficiently at their office.Wrong verb form
work
Submitted by Ze.Nin3.R0 on
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The essay provides a satisfactory response to the prompt with a clear position that is evident throughout the response. However, integrate specific, detailed examples could be more effectively to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical progression of ideas and an effective use of paragraphs. Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and vary sentence structures for better flow and to add complexity.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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