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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.
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The tables inform the audience about the
sales
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 of fairtrade goods
such
Linking Words
 as coffee and banana in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 1999 and 2004 in 5 European
countries
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. These
countries
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 are
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
Switzerland
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, Denmark, Belgium, and Sweden.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
countries
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 with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
sales
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 coffee in 1999 and 2004
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
Switzerland
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 and
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, respectively.
Switzerland
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also
Linking Words
 had the greatest number of
sales
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 for
fairtrade-labelled
Correct your spelling
fair trade-labelled
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 bananas in both 1999 and 2004. On the one hand, in 1999,
Switzerland
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 was the leading coffee seller with
sales
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 of £3
million
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,
however
Linking Words
; in 2004
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 surpassed it by having
sales
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 worth £20
million
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. Out of all the 5
countries
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,
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and Belgium experienced
dramatic
Add an article
a dramatic
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 shift in the volume of
sales
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 as the amount rose from 1.5 and 1 in 1999 to 20 and 17 in 2004, respectively.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
,
sales
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 for
Switzerland
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 doubled in 2004 and
countries
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 like Denmark and Sweden witnessed only a slight rise.
However
Linking Words
, one common thing in all the
countries
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 was the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sales
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 in 2004.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Switzerland
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 had a sale of £15
million
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 in 1999 for fairtrade-labelled bananas and it rose colossally in 2004 to an astonishing £47
million
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.
Sales
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 of
countries
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 like
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and Belgium in 2004
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 5 times
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that in 1999.
Contrastingly
Rephrase
In contrast
show examples
, Sweden saw a decrease from 1.8 in 1999 to £1
million
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 in 2004,
while
Linking Words
 Denmark's figures
also
Linking Words
 dropped from 2 to £0.9
million
Use synonyms
 during the same period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, countries, uk, switzerland, million with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade sales
  • significant growth
  • trends and patterns
  • market expansion
  • sustainable consumption
  • ethical products
  • consumer awareness
  • economic impact
  • percentage increase
  • market share
  • profit margins
  • trade initiatives
  • consumer behavior
  • retail figures
  • economic indicators
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