Some believe that all individauls who break the law should be placed in prison as aform of punishment. However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the present epoch, whilst proponents hold the view that criminals should be thrown into prisons,
apponents
and I have a diverse perspective. I am a staunch believer that ample solutions exist rather than punishment. All these points will be discussed later in Correct your spelling
opponents
this
essay.
On the one hand, some lawyers presume that judging any person who commits a crime is the most suitable reaction to him. Linking Words
This
means that Linking Words
offender
should be kept in his prison cell to regret his erroneous deeds. A prime example of Correct article usage
the offender
this
is Egypt where its law states that Linking Words
individual
who does wrong actions Correct article usage
an individual
is
ought to stay in Unnecessary verb
apply
the
jail for a period of time away from ordinary people. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, imprisoning those felons Linking Words
curtail
their risk.
Correct subject-verb agreement
curtails
On the other hand
, the Linking Words
advacates
of Correct your spelling
advocates
the
human rights confirm that prisoning a human being is completely insane, and it should be replaced by other creative means. Correct article usage
apply
In other words
, if someone is deprived Linking Words
from
his liberty, his psychological state will be worse. Change the preposition
of
Moreover
, may push him to repeat the crime in Linking Words
the
favor of revenge. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, Thailand has started a project in which all culprits are involved in voluntary work to exploit Linking Words
these enormous manpower
effectively. Change the determiner
this enormous manpower
Therefore
, what can be said is that behavioural modification is the ideal target that should be aimed for throughout the whole Linking Words
organizations
of the nation.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
organization
after
Linking Words
this
essay has manifested the Linking Words
above mentioned
points, it can be reiterated that prisoning Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
the
criminals plays a negative role in Correct article usage
apply
the
society opposite to what is being believed. I am convinced that the responsible authorities should opt for less aggressive manners so as to get the maximum benefit for its population and to improve Its community morals.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by Halakilany3 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your essay's structure. Your current introduction could be clearer in setting up the forthcoming arguments. Consider rewriting it for improved clarity.
Task Achievement
Develop each main point with clear supporting details or examples. Your essay provides some examples, such as practices in Egypt and Thailand, but these need to be further elaborated on to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strive for a logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. While some structure is present, there are instances where arguments could benefit from smoother transitions and clearer connections between points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more cohesively. The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, but additional and more varied linking words could improve the readability and flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Double-check your writing for any typographical errors or inaccuracies in spelling or grammar to maintain a high level of linguistic accuracy.