It is not necessary to go to a place to know about the place because we can see the places from book, TV and internet. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
people
should not travel to
places
that are possible to be known from books, TV and Internet. I do not agree with
this
idea and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
to different
places
gives us more energy and
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
to meet different cultures that we cannot experience
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
other ways.
This
essay will
be highlighting
Wrong verb form
highlight
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why
people
need to go to see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
places
by themselves.
First,
traveling
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travelling
show examples
to different locations, which you were not before, gives
refreshment
Fix the agreement mistake
refreshments
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that
are
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is
show examples
required from your body.
This
is because we are humans, with the brain often seeking new
experiences
and having curiosity. After
traveling
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travelling
show examples
,
people
feel energized because they learn a lot from travelling whether it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
enjoying
Replace the word
enjoyable
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or challenging.
This
feeling is not comparable with
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading or watching something
form
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
TV or
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
and books. Another reason why I agreed with
this
idea is expanding knowledge
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
seeing
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
cultures and
people
that you can only feel
while
going to different
places
.
For example
,
people
can watch or read the contents about certain
places
from media or
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
, but they cannot feel real
experiences
,
such
as eating traditional food and seeing way of living
experiences
of it.
On the other hand
, nowadays, media technology is being well developed and there are many travelling vlogs and video content.
Therefore
, sometimes
people
think that travelling to some
places
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not required because
people
may think that gain knowledge enough about these
places
from the internet content or TV programs.
However
, travelling to different
places
is
totally
Correct article usage
a totally
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different
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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compared to watching or reading
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
.
To
Change preposition
In
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conclusion, I would argue that going to different
places
and seeing other cultures are completely different
experiences
that cannot be explored by just reading and watching.
Accordingly
, it would be generally advisable for individuals to travel to different
places
that you were not before as much as you can.
Submitted by zayashdee on

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction should more directly address the question, stating clear reasons for agreement or disagreement.
logical structure
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Support main points with specific details and examples rather than general statements.
complete response
Ensure the essay directly responds to all parts of the task throughout the response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop ideas comprehensively, ensuring they are relevant to the topic and the argument is easy to follow.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate precise and pertinent examples to substantiate arguments, derived from personal experience or external sources.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical travel
  • virtual tours
  • interactive maps
  • immersive experiences
  • historical context
  • cultural insights
  • emotional connection
  • nuances
  • social interaction
  • firsthand experiences
  • secondary sources
  • sensory experiences
  • local customs
  • environmental impact
  • sustainability
What to do next:
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