In some countries people are still discussing whether they should have the same job that they had in their country or not but people do not try to listen to each other to understand and choice is it okay to do it or not.
Some
government
believe that people Fix the agreement mistake
governments
could not
have the Wrong verb form
cannot
job
they had in their country which is a good idea Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
cause
most of the time tools, names and machines are different or maybe that country has created a machine that does not need any person to work on that Correct word choice
because
job
and sometimes people get advantage of that position and use it in bad ways.
However
not all Add a comma
However,
of
Change preposition
apply
the
adults have Correct article usage
apply
this
idea some believe that when someone have
experience or is educated we should give them a chance Correct subject-verb agreement
has
cause
most of the Change preposition
because
times
when they have to study Fix the agreement mistake
time
again
what they are educated about they are not going to do it again and will go to look for another Rephrase
apply
job
.
In my point of view
I believe it is different in every situation and it can be a changeable rule based on the case sometimes that person is very good in his Add a comma
view,
job
and is well educated with a good behavior
I think we can give that person a chance but if there is a different in words and tools I think they can just study the difference Change the spelling
behaviour
not
the whole story.Add the comma(s)
, not
Submitted by behnazahmadi2004 on
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structure
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are important elements of the structure. You should begin with an introductory paragraph that presents the topic and your thesis statement, and end with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly.
logic
Ensure your essay follows a logical structure. Present each main point in a new paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanation and examples. This will make your essay easier to follow and understand.
task response
In terms of task achievement, the response is incomplete. The topic requires a discussion on whether people should be employed in the same job they had in their home country when living abroad. However, your response doesn't fully address all parts of this topic. You should provide a more balanced overview and discuss potential arguments on both sides.
development
The essay's ideas are somewhat clear, but they need to be more comprehensively developed. Each main point should be expanded with more detailed information and specific examples to support your position.
cohesion
To achieve a higher score in coherence and cohesion, use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas between and within paragraphs. This will help to make the progression of ideas smoother and more cohesive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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