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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of 2 countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below shows the expenditure of 2 countries on consumer goods in 2010.
#expenditure #countries #consumer #goods
The graph gives information on the spending on five goods in the
UK
 and France
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010. It is clearly seen that the product of cars
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 supply for around 450,000
pounds
 sterling in the
UK
, about 400,000
pounds
 sterling in France. In detail, the expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 computers are second highest in
Franch
Correct your spelling
France
show examples
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around $370,000,
on the other hand
, the consumption of books are second winner in the
UK
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around $400,000.
Moreover
, The third place
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the spending rate of the
UK
 is cameras for around $360,000
while
 in
Franch
Correct your spelling
France
show examples
 is books for about $300,000.
Furthermore
, the people are spending on computers in the
UK
 around $350,000 which rank in four, on the other side, the residents are
costing
Verb problem
spending
show examples
 on perfume in
Franch
 for around $200,000.
Lastly
, the product of perfumes
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 sales in the
UK
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
only around 140,000
pounds
 sterling
while
 cameras
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the lowest-spending products in
Franch
Correct your spelling
France
show examples
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 almost 150,000
pounds
 sterling.
Submitted by rosolook on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, pounds, franch with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 7 times.
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