IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods.
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The expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 including
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
, fish and chips and pizza in Britain
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per week is illustrated on the bar graph and
Correct article usage
the consumptions
show examples
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
 of these fast foods (1970-1990)
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 presented on the line graph.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that hamburger is generally the most consumable product for the high and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average income
Add a hyphen
average-income
show examples
 groups and
this
Linking Words
 trend increased constantly. In terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast-food expenditure,
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for the highest at around 42 pence per person per week, which was 10 pence higher than expenditure of the
average income
Add a hyphen
average-income
show examples
 people and almost three times higher than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
low-income people’s usage.
However
Linking Words
, people with
low-income
Correct your spelling
low income
show examples
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to use fish and chips which was nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 allocation
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the people with high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, but
this
Linking Words
 allocation was 8 pence less than the
medium income
Add a hyphen
medium-income
show examples
 groups. In terms of the line graph, the growing trends for hamburgers and pizzas
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
 from 100
grammes
Use synonyms
 and 50
grammes
Use synonyms
 respectively in 1970. The
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 hamburgers rose rapidly to 500
grammes
Use synonyms
 and the usage of pizza increased to 290
grammes
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
However
Linking Words
, the highest consumption
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for fish and chips at 300
grammes
Use synonyms
 in 1970 and it decreased gradually to 200
grammes
Use synonyms
 in 1982 and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 again to reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
220 in 1990.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words grammes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food industry
  • expenditure
  • demographics
  • consumer behavior
  • nutritional content
  • advertising campaigns
  • socio-economic status
  • health implications
  • dietary habits
  • processed foods
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