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Band 5

the chart about eating habits for american between 2003 adn 2013

#habits #american #adn
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The bar chart illustrates the likelihood of American eating in
fast
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fast-food
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food
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resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 between 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of
people
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 eating once a
week
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 was the highest between 2003-2006,
while
Linking Words
 eating once or twice a
month
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 overtook it to be the highest in 2013. What is more, the lowest proportions were for those who never eat fast
food
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 and who eat it on a daily basis.
To begin
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, in 2003, the majority of the
people
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 ate once a
week
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 in a
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
 place with a
percentage
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 of 31%.
While
Linking Words
 individuals who ate once or twice a
month
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 were the second highest group at 30%.
However
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, the
percentage
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 of
third
Correct article usage
the third
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 and fourth
group
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groups
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 was for
people
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 who reported eating several times a
week
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 and those eating a few times a year which were considerably less at 17%, and 13%, respectively.
Likewise
Linking Words
, those who have never eaten fast
food
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 were only 5%,
conversely
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, the lowest proportion was for eating
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 at 4%.
On the other hand
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, in 2006, the majority remained the same with a slight increase to 33%.
However
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, the proportion of
people
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 having fast
food
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 once or twice a
month
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 sharply decreased to 25%.
Conversely
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, both third and fourth groups reported a considerable jump to 20% for the former and 15% for the latter. There was
also
Linking Words
 a marginal decrease in
people
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 who never ate to 4%,
while
Linking Words
 a slight decrease in everyday eating trend to 3 was
also
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 noted,
By contrast
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, in 2013, the
percentage
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for
Change preposition
of
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 those having once or twice meal a
month
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 trend overtook once a
week
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, the first one increased significantly to 33%,
while
Linking Words
 the second dropped moderately to 27%. The third group experienced a sudden fall to 16%,
however
Linking Words
, the lowest three groups steadily remained at the same level.
Submitted by ototonji.ot on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear introduction that provides an overview of the main trends, differences or stages, as well as a conclusion that summarizes the key points. This essay lacked a distinct conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay so that each paragraph has a clear central topic, and the progression from one paragraph to the next is logically sequenced and smooth.
task achievement
Support all main points with specific data. While most information was presented, it needs to be consistently supported by specific examples and figures.
task achievement
To score higher for task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed fully. Your essay should comprehensively cover the main features of the chart. Add more detail to achieve depth in your analysis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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