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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #world #illiteracy #rates #region #gender #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph presents estimated the percentage of world
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 by gender in six different regions for the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, South
Asia
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the most
illiteracy
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
while
Linking Words
 Developed Countries had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 rates of
illiteracy
Use synonyms
. As we can see from the chart, South
Asia
Use synonyms
became
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the largest
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 both for
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 at about 34% and approximately
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
55%. Arab States
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the second highest inability to read at more than 50% for
men
Use synonyms
 and around 20% less for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 followed by
Sub Saharan
Add a hyphen
Sub-Saharan
show examples
 Africa for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 at just below 50% and just above 30%, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 regions with the most literacy are Developed Countries, American/Caribbean, and East
Asia
Use synonyms
/Oceania. It is most likely for the citizens in Developed Countries
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to read because the number of
illiteracy
Use synonyms
 was below 5% for both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 for the American/Caribbean was around 10%.
Women
Use synonyms
 in East
Asia
Use synonyms
/Oceania had more than double
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 compared to
men
Use synonyms
 at 20%.
Submitted by rezaf.permadi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words illiteracy, asia, men, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy rates
  • Region
  • Gender disparity
  • Bar chart
  • Estimated
  • Summarise
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Analyzing
  • Discrepancies
  • Significant
  • Pronounced
  • Speculation
  • Male
  • Female
  • Global perspective
  • Literacy
  • Educational attainment
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Cultural influences
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