Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
students
tend to attend extra activities
outside of main subjects such
as sport trainings
and other networking Fix the agreement mistake
sports training
clubs
.
Most universities offers
Change the verb form
offer
extra-curriculum
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
activities
such
as sport
training and social Change the noun form
sports
clubs
, students
often tend to attend these activities
because they can be have
fun with others and meet Change the verb form
have
with
new Change preposition
apply
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
while
nurturing their body and knowledge, which are advantages of attending these clubs
. However
, some students
neglect their main classes, which are their main purpose of
studying Change preposition
for
due to
spending their valuable time for
other social and Change preposition
on
sport
Change the noun form
sports
activities
. This
essay will discuss both sides with supporting examples.
Extra trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
ans
Correct your spelling
and
sport
Change the noun form
sports
clubs
are great
chance to meet different people and share their studying or social experiences with others. Attending Add an article
a great
sport club
helps us to improve our physics which is one of Fix the agreement mistake
sports clubs
important
Add an article
an important
the important
aspect
of Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
well
study. Change the adverb
good
This
is because active movement or exercise support
our brain development which is good for memorizing or studying something. There are Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
may
studies Correct your spelling
many
about
that Change preposition
apply
highlighted
Wrong verb form
highlight
advantages
of doing exercise or Correct article usage
the advantages
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
while
studying. For example
, The
Harvard Correct article usage
apply
university
scholars admitted that Capitalize word
University
students
doing
three times a week gym, are well resulted on their exams. Wrong verb form
who do
Consequently
, students
should attend sport
Change the noun form
sports
clubs
. Moreover
, some students
want to go social
Change preposition
to social
clubs
because they can share their social experiences and thoughts with others which are affected to improve their background knowledge and expand their view of lenses. As a result
of attending these clubs
or training
they may broaden their networking, which would be helpful for finding jobs after graduating Add a comma
training,
university
. Change preposition
from university
Therefore
, students
prefer to attend these clubs
, but striking balance
Correct article usage
a balance
on
studying and attending extra Change preposition
between
activities
should be Correct article usage
a concerned
concerned
.
Replace the word
concern
On the other hand
, despite leisure ativities
Correct your spelling
activities
such
sports
and social Change preposition
as sports
clubs
benefit for
our body and general knowledge, sometimes these Change preposition
apply
are
can Unnecessary verb
apply
be
disturb Unnecessary verb
apply
students
to
Change preposition
from
focusing
on Wrong verb form
focus
main
subjects. Correct article usage
the main
This
is because some students
too
Add a missing verb
are too
addict
Replace the word
addicted
on
those extra-curricular Change preposition
to
activities
, and spend more time for
them rather than studying. These extra Change preposition
on
activities
may seem easier and fun
for Correct quantifier usage
more fun
students
rather than studying at library
and preparing Add an article
the library
exams
. Change preposition
for exams
However
, students
should concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
Change preposition
about their
their
main purpose of why they Change the word
the
are attended
Wrong verb form
attend
to
the university.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
, attending social clubs
and doing sport
Change the noun form
sports
activities
are good at
physics and give Change preposition
for
opportunity
to meet with Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
while
expanding network
which would be necessary for seeking Correct pronoun usage
my network
work
Correct article usage
a work
positiion
. Correct your spelling
position
However
, this
phenomenon can be affect
negatively on Change the verb form
be affected
learning
process. Add an article
the learning
Students
mainly should focus on their main subjects that
Correct word choice
apply
this
would be Correct pronoun usage
which
more
essential for being skilled and responsible citizens.Correct quantifier usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, including an unambiguous introduction, well-organized body paragraphs, and a coherent conclusion. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without clear transitions.
coherence cohesion
Work on the clarity and development of your ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point that is clearly articulated and supported by specific examples or explanations.
task achievement
To fully achieve the task, make sure to address all parts of the question comprehensively. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages equally and provide relevant examples for each. Avoid an overly simplistic discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to your grammar, vocabulary, and punctuation. Errors in these areas can affect the reader's ability to understand your points, and they detract from the overall quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Remember to use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency. This adds variety and sophistication to your writing, which is important for a higher band score.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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