Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Most

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apply

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students

Use synonyms

tend to attend extra

activities

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outside of main subjects

such

Linking Words

Use synonyms

sport trainings

Fix the agreement mistake

sports training

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and other networking

clubs

Use synonyms

. Most universities

offers

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offer

show examples

extra-curriculum

Correct your spelling

extracurricular

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activities

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such

Linking Words

Use synonyms

sport

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sports

show examples

training and social

clubs

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students

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often tend to attend these

activities

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because they can

be have

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have

show examples

fun with others and meet

with

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apply

show examples

new

freinds

Correct your spelling

friends

while

Linking Words

nurturing their body and knowledge, which are advantages of attending these

clubs

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, some

students

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neglect their main classes, which are their main purpose

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for

show examples

studying

due to

Linking Words

spending their valuable time

for

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show examples

other social and

Use synonyms

sport

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sports

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both sides with supporting examples. Extra

trainings

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training

pieces of training

show examples

ans

Correct your spelling

and

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sport

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sports

show examples

clubs

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are

great

Add an article

a great

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chance to meet different people and share their studying or social experiences with others. Attending

Use synonyms

sport club

Fix the agreement mistake

sports clubs

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helps us to improve our physics which is one of

important

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an important

the important

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aspect

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aspects

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well

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good

show examples

study.

This

Linking Words

is because active movement or exercise

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

our brain development which is good for memorizing or studying something. There are

may

Correct your spelling

many

show examples

studies

about

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apply

show examples

that

highlighted

Wrong verb form

highlight

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advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

of doing exercise or

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

while

Linking Words

studying.

For example

Linking Words

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Harvard

university

Capitalize word

University

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scholars admitted that

students

Use synonyms

doing

Wrong verb form

who do

show examples

three times a week gym, are well resulted on their exams.

Consequently

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

should attend

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

clubs

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

students

Use synonyms

want to go

social

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to social

show examples

clubs

Use synonyms

because they can share their social experiences and thoughts with others which are affected to improve their background knowledge and expand their view of lenses.

As a result

Linking Words

of attending these

clubs

Use synonyms

training

Add a comma

training,

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they may broaden their networking, which would be helpful for finding jobs after graduating

university

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from university

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

prefer to attend these

clubs

Use synonyms

, but striking

balance

Correct article usage

a balance

show examples

Change preposition

between

show examples

studying and attending extra

activities

Use synonyms

should be

Correct article usage

a concerned

show examples

concerned

Replace the word

concern

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, despite leisure

ativities

Correct your spelling

activities

such

Linking Words

sports

Change preposition

as sports

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and social

clubs

Use synonyms

benefit

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our body and general knowledge, sometimes these

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

disturb

students

Use synonyms

Change preposition

from

show examples

focusing

Wrong verb form

focus

show examples

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

subjects.

This

Linking Words

is because some

students

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too

Add a missing verb

are too

show examples

addict

Replace the word

addicted

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

those extra-curricular

activities

Use synonyms

, and spend more time

for

Change preposition

show examples

them rather than studying. These extra

activities

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may seem easier and

fun

Correct quantifier usage

more fun

show examples

for

students

Use synonyms

rather than studying at

library

Add an article

the library

show examples

and preparing

exams

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for exams

show examples

However

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

should

concern

Wrong verb form

be concerned

show examples

Change preposition

about their

show examples

their

Change the word

the

show examples

main purpose of why they

are attended

Wrong verb form

attend

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the university.

To conclude

Linking Words

, attending social

clubs

Use synonyms

and doing

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

are good

Change preposition

for

show examples

physics and give

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

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to meet with

freinds

Correct your spelling

friends

while

Linking Words

expanding

network

Correct pronoun usage

my network

show examples

which would be necessary for seeking

work

Correct article usage

a work

show examples

positiion

Correct your spelling

position

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon can

be affect

Change the verb form

be affected

show examples

negatively on

learning

Add an article

the learning

show examples

process.

Students

Use synonyms

mainly should focus on their main subjects

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

would be

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

essential for being skilled and responsible citizens.

zayashdeeFri Jan 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, including an unambiguous introduction, well-organized body paragraphs, and a coherent conclusion. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without clear transitions.

coherence cohesion

Work on the clarity and development of your ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point that is clearly articulated and supported by specific examples or explanations.

task achievement

To fully achieve the task, make sure to address all parts of the question comprehensively. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages equally and provide relevant examples for each. Avoid an overly simplistic discussion of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Pay close attention to your grammar, vocabulary, and punctuation. Errors in these areas can affect the reader's ability to understand your points, and they detract from the overall quality of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Remember to use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency. This adds variety and sophistication to your writing, which is important for a higher band score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
68
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

421 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

interpersonal skills
teamwork
networking
time management
physical fitness
stress reduction
commitment
diverse interests
distraction
academic performance
overcommitment
burnout
financial strain
exclusivity
discrimination

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Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

over population of urban areas has lead to numerous problems. identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that government and individuals tackle these problems.

Some people think that killing animals for food is cruel, but others claim that animals are a necessary part of the diet. What is your opinion?

Economic growth is the best way of ending global poverty but it can also have a negative effect on the environment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.