IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You had borrowed a book from the public library however, when You reached home, you found that some important pages were torn away. Write a letter to the librarian explaining the situation. You should - Mention the book - Mention the pages - Suggest what can be done.

#book #library #home #pages #librarian #situation
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Good evening, I express
this
Linking Words
 epistle to tell you there is some problem regarding the
book
Use synonyms
 that I borrowed. I had borrowed a
book
Use synonyms
 from the public library 5 hours ago. The
book
Use synonyms
 is entitled Biography Science.
However
Linking Words
, I can't
checked
Change the verb form
check
show examples
 the
book
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 on site. When I reached home and
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
 to read that
book
Use synonyms
, there is some pages were torn away. The pages that
torn
Add a missing verb
were torn
show examples
 away are important to me
due
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 I must
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
finish my essay
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
night
Correct your spelling
tonight
show examples
. I need to search
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
 research from the
book
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 support my tasks. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 4 pages
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
torn away
such
Linking Words
 as
page
Use synonyms
 5,
page
Use synonyms
 8,
page
Use synonyms
 9, and
page
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 11. I really don't know
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
if this
show examples
 thing will
happened
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
. I haven't even held the
book
Use synonyms
 yet
while
Linking Words
 on the road. I am looking
foward
Correct your spelling
forward
 to your response, what thing that I ought to do
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue. I need to replace the
book
Use synonyms
 as soon as possible. Thank you for your consideration Yours sincerely, Ney
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure you directly address the bullet points given in the task. Mentioning the book title and pages was good, but more emphasis on suggesting a solution could strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use a more structured layout with clearly separated paragraphs. Each paragraph should deal with a single aspect of the task. Consider using linking words and phrases to improve the flow of information.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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