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Band 5

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages

#media #people #touch #friends #news #events
In
this
 era, social
media
 is the most important part for
people
. Even
we
Correct word choice
if we
show examples
 stay only at home we still know what happen outside by just opening social
media
. So
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
information
 that we can get from social
media
,
such
 as news, entertainment, events, and many more issues that are happening not only in our country but we can know anything
information
 from all countries. We
also
 know about
povital
Correct your spelling
political
pivotal
 issues in the world. Apart from news, we can receive
information
 about events that will be held. So easy for us to know about anything from social
media
. 
In addition
, with social
media
Add a comma
media,
show examples
 we can still keep in touch with our old
friends
 without meeting in person. Just search
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 name on social
media
 we can easily find them
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 invite them to be our
friends
 on social
media
. We can talk to them after they accept our
friends
Fix the agreement mistake
friend
show examples
 request or just send them a message even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 haven't accepted our friend request. Moving
further
, social
media
 has been
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 as a place to sell goods online and will easily find the items we are looking for. 
As per
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, social
media
 has had a positive influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 us.
However
, there are still some
people
 to use social
media
 for negative content or bad influence for
public
Add an article
the public
a public
show examples
 that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 us inconvenience
such
 as, the most frequent example is cases of fraud.
Hence
, as good
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 we
ought
Add the word
ought to
show examples
 be able to use social
media
 wisely. Despite there are positive and negative
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
show examples
 in the use of social
media
,
this
 application has helped many
people
 to get easy
information
 or just find their
friends
.
Therefore
, the advantages of social
media
 outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide a nuanced argument in your essay, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of social media while ensuring your stance is clear throughout the essay. While your essay favors the advantages, it is important to also expound upon the disadvantages to maintain a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific idea. Use linking words to connect your ideas together and maintain the flow within and between paragraphs. Start with a strong introduction and conclude with a summary that reaffirms your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instantaneous communication
  • geographical barriers
  • information hub
  • breaking news
  • educational content
  • professional networking
  • industry experts
  • community support
  • privacy infringement
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • mental wellbeing
  • social comparison
  • online validation
  • cyberbullying
  • detriments
  • vulnerable individuals
What to do next:
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