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Band 2

More people are shopping online today than ever before. Why do people choose to shop this way? Are there any disadvant ages to shopping online?

#people #shop #disadvant #ages
Recently, a lot of
people
are choose
Change the verb form
are choosing
show examples
 shopping online rather than offline. I think
this
 has disadvantages, because it
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to
cime
Correct your spelling
come
 and
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 the product
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 bad
quality
. Nowadays, technology has grown significantly, and it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
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live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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esier
Correct your spelling
easier
 than before.
People
 use
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
 to get information and anything they want
such
 as shopping online.
For instance
, Shoppe, Lazada, Gofood, and Amazon. There are apps
people
 usually use to
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 goods.
However
, the
quality
 of products
sometimes
Add a missing verb
is sometimes
show examples
 not
good
Rephrase
as good
show examples
 as
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
provide
Wrong verb form
are provided
show examples
 on online
shope
Correct your spelling
shops
. Another reason why shopping online
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 safe,
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 the
quality
 is not good.
People
 do not know the
quality
 of
product
Correct article usage
the product
show examples
 before they pay.
For example
,
Wash
Wrong verb form
a washing
show examples
 machine, TV, Laptop, Smartphone, and so on. Before
people
 buy,they must look first
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
quality
, so they will not disappointed. In conclusion, Shopping online and offline has
disadvantanges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 and
advangest
Correct your spelling
advantages
advances
when
people
bought throungh
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 online, it might save
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time if
yo
Correct your spelling
you
show examples
brought
Verb problem
go
show examples
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping online,
thus
 it
caused
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
 crime and make
people
 has damage.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the following sentences support that topic clearly.
coherence cohesion
Utilize cohesive devices accurately and appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs, such as conjunctions, pronouns, and transition phrases.
coherence cohesion
Present your ideas in a logical order that is easy to follow, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
Fully develop your arguments with detailed explanations and specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt equally to ensure a complete response to the task.
task achievement
Check for grammar and spelling mistakes to ensure clarity and accuracy of communication.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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