Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers instead of benefitting them individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is
belief
Add an article
the belief
a belief
show examples
that says "The main purpose of
schools
Use synonyms
is to turn children into good
citizens
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and workers
instead
Linking Words
of benefitting them individually". I mostly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
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statement. A
school
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teachs
Correct your spelling
teaches
teacher
not only an academic lesson but
also
Linking Words
a social lesson to correct
students
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' conduct.
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
almost all
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
have similar lessons, so
students
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will grow up to be
same
Correct article usage
the same
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good adults. But maybe there are some places that are not similar to others. First of all, In every
school
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, they teach general academic subjects
such
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as
Math
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, Science, English
and
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apply
show examples
etc.
In addition
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to these subjects, there are lessons
intented
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intended
to make the
students
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become responsible
citizens
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of the society.
For example
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, social studies or law studies
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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teach
students
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what they should and should not do. And that they will
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
punishment if they do something wrong.
Also
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, when
students
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spending
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spend
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their time in
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schools
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school
show examples
, they will learn how to behave and interact with each other.
School
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disciplinary
Replace the word
discipline
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is
also
Linking Words
the way to guide children to the good path.
Furthermore
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,
because
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apply
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every
school
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have the same
standard
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standards
show examples
for the graduated
students
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. Their curriculums tend to be the same. And that has a negative effect on the student. Because everyone has his own talent. Teaching
students
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the same thing doesn't mean that
thay
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they
will get equal
score
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scores
show examples
. To illustrate, when someone who's good at drawing and someone who's good at
Math
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study Algebra together, he who excels at
Math
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will do better. But, does
this
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mean that
students
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who get bad grades are bad
student
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students
show examples
? No, they may be bad at
Math
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but they have something they
good
Add a missing verb
are good
show examples
at too. Unfortunately
that
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apply
show examples
their capabilities have to be measured with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
only
same
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the same
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standard.
However
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, some
schools
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may not be like the others. There are a few
schools
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whose intent
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not just to bring up their student to be good people but
encourage
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to encourage
show examples
them to be the best version of themself. These
schools
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still have the same
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
for their
students
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to meet. but they support things that are not in the requirement too. To give examples, some
schools
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permit
students
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to join clubs of their interests after studying periods,
such
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as
,
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apply
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art club, music club and sports club.
Furthermore
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, these
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schools
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school's
schools'
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curriculum
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curricula
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may not
limit
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be limited
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to just science
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course
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courses
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and social studies
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course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
. They have
other
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another course
other courses
show examples
course
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like literature, management and art
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course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
too. To sum it up, every
school
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have similar ways of teaching and preparing their
students
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to become good
citizens
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and workers of the societies. Yet, they teach the same things to every
Use synonyms
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
, despite the fact that everyone is unique and has his own way of learning.
Therefore
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, you could say that
this
Linking Words
way of teaching doesn't benefit their
students
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individually. That's why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with
this
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statement.
However
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, there might be some
schools
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that do it differently.
While
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keeping the standards like other
schools
Use synonyms
, they support their
students
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individually too.
For their
Change preposition
Their
show examples
intentions
Fix the agreement mistake
intention
show examples
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
students
Use synonyms
will grow up not only to be good
citizens
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
to be themself that they dream of.
Submitted by Ze.Nin3.R0 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear introductory paragraph that sets up the argument, followed by coherent paragraphs with clear topic sentences. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the arguments made.
task achievement
Develop each point with detailed explanations and relevant examples. Ensure there is a clear position throughout the response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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