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Band 4

The plans below show the layout of a universty's sports centre now, and how it will look after redeveloplment.

#plans #show #layout #universty #sports #centre #redeveloplment
The maps illustrate the university
sports
centre
 now and after reconstruction in the upcoming years.
Overall
, it can be seen that
outdoors
Change the word
outdoor
show examples
 courts would be demolished and new facilities would replace them. Several portions of the
centre
 would remain steady
such
 as reception and
pool
.
According to
 the future plan, it can be understood that the outdoor courts on the west and east of the
pool
 would be torn down
then
 a leisure
pool
sports
 hall would be built. Two changing rooms in the right and left corner of the
centre
 and two dance studios
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
east of the
sports
 hall would be made. The gym would be extended and bigger than now.
Moreover
, there would be some commercial development
such
 as a
sports
 shop and café which would be established next to the new changing rooms on sough of the
centre
.
However
, some portion of
this
centre
 would remain sustainable
such
 as the entrance, reception, the
pool
, seating, and changing room on the left side of the
pool
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the task. You should provide a more detailed comparison between the current and future layouts of the sports centre.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, maintaining a logical structure throughout your essay is crucial. You should connect your ideas better and use a wider range of cohesive devices.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction must contain a clear overview of the main trends, differences, or stages. Adding a conclusion that summarizes the main points made in the essay could enhance the overall clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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