In some countries, citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their home. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In some parts of the world, the authorities permitted the residents to possess a pistol in their dwelling.
Although
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it can as a deterrent way against potential criminals, it can increase the risk of domestic violence and conflicts among civilians. In
this
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essay, I am going to discuss the pros and cons of the conditions
while
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giving my opinion on why the disadvantages outweigh the advantages
along with
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a summary. There are numerous positive
sides
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associated with the phenomenon of having a gun at home and the prominent one is as a preventive towards intruders who are coming so suddenly.
For example
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,
people
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in the United States of America possess
guns
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to prepare if any criminals come to their houses as a
defense
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defence
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to themselves to make
a
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apply
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resistance. The potential criminals will think twice if they know the house owner is having weapons.
Therefore
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, it can deter the worst possible outcome from happening.
On the other hand
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, the coins have two
sides
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. The adverse consequence of
this
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tendency is the increasing risk of domestic violence among
people
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, particularly children. Parents can not always look after their kids all the time 24/7, there is a chance that they are lost from their parents' supervision. By keeping pistols at home, it is prone the children will take the
guns
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and use them for playing. It potentially harms others since the younger still do not know how dangerous the weapons are.
For instance
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, possessing
guns
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in a household is legal in the USA. There is a 5 years old boy, who shot his 7 years old peer using his father's pistol.
As a result
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, his brother died on the spot.
In other words
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, keeping
guns
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at home jeopardizes others, certainly among citizens. In conclusion, permission
to
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for
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gun ownership is legal in some countries and it has become a phenomenon. There are positive and negative
sides
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to the situation. After weighing both
sides
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, I am inclined to say the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages. Keeping
guns
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at house is dangerous for others and can potentially escalate conflict among
people
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. It is better used only by the police and army who are truly competent than used by ordinary
people
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.
Submitted by nurulfitriakamilah on

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task achievement
Your introduction could be improved by more directly addressing the question prompt. It is important in the IELTS exam to make sure you are responding directly to the question asked, without adding unnecessary context or tangential information.
coherence cohesion
You need to work on developing a more coherent logical structure. Use cohesive devices appropriately to help guide the reader through your argument and improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly present. The introduction should set up the topic and your position, while the conclusion should summarize your key points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
While you have attempted to provide supporting arguments for your statements, they could be more developed. Aim to include more detail to support your main points, such as specific reasons, results, and examples.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant, although they could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. It is important to articulate your points in a way that is easy for the reader to understand and follow.
task achievement
Use of examples is good, but their effectiveness would increase if you make sure they are clearly linked back to the essay question and show explicitly how they support your argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-defense
  • personal security
  • deterrent
  • cultural significance
  • recreational use
  • unintentional injuries
  • arms race
  • domestic violence
  • lethal
  • criminal underworld
  • strict gun laws
  • safety training
  • psychological impact
  • empowerment
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