Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Tertiary education plays a significant role in
professional
Add an article
the professional
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growth of a person. Many believe that
university
education only helps in securing a better
job
while
some oppose
this
ideology,
instead
Correct word choice
and instead
show examples
consider
university
a hub for other learning opportunities. I,
however
, believe the
later
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latter
show examples
idea of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
not only earning a
degree
for
job
Add an article
the job
a job
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also
Correct word choice
but also
show examples
gaining other needed
skills
to thrive in
a
Remove the article
apply
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society. On the one hand, the primary aim of a
university
is to provide
students
with a
degree
to get a
job
. Professors design curriculums, workshops, tutorials, and research work for
students
to learn, how the corporate world works. In fact, the whole coursework is formulated for
students
to prepare them for the jobs,
nevertheless
, it doesn’t confirm obtaining a
job
after graduating.
However
,
students
are ready to apply for any opportunity that comes their way as almost all recruiters demand a
degree
to qualify for the post.
For instance
,
minimum
Correct article usage
the minimum
show examples
eligibility criteria for 85% of the LinkedIn
job
postings from big companies require a bachelor’s
degree
.
On the other hand
, it is an undeniable fact that a
university
also
help
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helps
show examples
students
grow in their full potential. It focuses on developing other important
skills
to survive in
market
Correct article usage
the market
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, society and on
personal
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a personal
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level.
Such
as soft
skills
like communication, confidence, teamwork, leadership, empathy, delegation, planning and many more are the key
for
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to
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successfully securing a
job
.
For example
, in
interviews
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interviews,
show examples
these
skills
carry weightage of 40% and to analyze, special tests are conducted.
Secondly
, universities organize different societies for
students
to cherish their hidden talents and
involve
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be involved
show examples
in social work. These things leave an ever-lasting impact on the person’s personality and around.
To conclude
, there are people
with
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apply
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
who
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belief
Replace the word
believe
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where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
university
is
mere
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merely
show examples
a place for obtaining degrees for a better
job
while
others believe in the bigger picture where
university
is more than education. I do agree
to
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with
show examples
the part where
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
is
also
focused
for
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on
show examples
personal, professional and societal growth and development.
Submitted by abid.srm on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph within the body of the essay has a clear central idea and that the supporting sentences are directly relevant to this idea.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be clear and summarise the main points effectively, ensuring they are aligned with each other.
task achievement
When supporting your main points, use specific, detailed examples rather than general statements. This strengthens the argument and shows a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Provide a balanced treatment of both views presented in the prompt and ensure that your own opinion is clear and well-supported.
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