IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is no denying the fact that the most important aim of
science
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 should be to improve
people
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's
lives
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.
While
Linking Words
 it is commonly agreed that it is the most important thing, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider improving
people
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's
lives
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 is the most important aim of
science
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.
To begin
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, invention is the main purpose for satisfying
people
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's needs.
In other words
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, you cannot have an invention without having a purpose that either solves a specific problem or fulfils a specific need. an example of an invention that solves a specific problem is electrical light, which was based on trial and error done by Thomas Addison, whilst
people
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 used to
used
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use
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 to provide light using fires or candles, which are not really useful in some circumstances another point is to consider that the evolution of
people
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's
lives
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,
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apply
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 since the stone age was based on continuous
science
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 development, the continuous development results to what comfortable and civilized conditions we live at today that’s the main purpose of supporting
this
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 evolution is to benefit and see living proof of benefits out of
science
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 personally, which makes me acquire
science
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 and learning is to make use of my time and studies to benefit and help the world around me with my speciality, and what I am expert at to learn and to apply knowledge and see the magic of
science
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 in front of our eyes
To conclude
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, despite
people
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 having different views, and the most important aim of
science
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, I personally believe it should be improving
people
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's
lives
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 with her to have inventions which are based on
science
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, or simply increasing your knowledge to apply it for the CONTINUITY of life development the main, which is to improve the life we live in

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and avoid including multiple ideas without clear linkage. Transitional phrases can help connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Focus on fewer key points and develop them more extensively with relevant examples. Avoid introducing too many superficial points.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to improve the logical flow of ideas. Repeated sentence beginnings can disrupt this flow.
task achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction and maintain a consistent response to the task throughout the essay.
task achievement
Substantiate your claims with clear and specific examples. Making broad generalizations may weaken your argument.
task achievement
Revise your grammar, punctuation, and choice of words to improve the clarity of your essay. Frequent language errors can impede understanding.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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