Some people belive that robots are very important to human’s future development, whilw others believe they are dangerous and negatively affect society.

#people #belive #robots #human’s #future #development #whilw #society

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Robots

have been making our lives so much easier ,

Correct word choice

but hencesome

show examples

hencesome

Correct your spelling

hence some

handsome

people think they might not be good for our future or even hurt us in some ways. I strongly disagree with

this

statement. these days

robotshave

Correct your spelling

robots have

many benefits for human lives

for example

there are bots that help us heal our mental health , choose things that suit us the best ,learn new things with their help ,or even answer all our questions and do many of the tasks that before them they would take a lot of time and energy from us ,

for instance

,chat gpt is a bot that can solve many of your problems and you can ask any question that you want and in some way,it will give you the best answers and make you save more time. another thing that leads us to have these negative mindsets toward

robots

is the effect of fictional movies, series , books etc ,that display

robots

as villains or creatures who destroy humans take control of the world and start to do evil things

for example

there is a series called west world which the story is exactly about how bad

robotscan

Correct your spelling

robots can

be .

while

us humans should be more thoughtful and see the positive effects of

these equipment

Change the determiner

this equipment

show examples

on our world.

to sum up

, except for some workers who have been replaced by

robots

literally, we can only see benefits from

this

technology that helps us every day to raise the quality of our lives.

Submitted by behnazahmadi2004 on Fri Jan 12 2024

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Introduction

The essay lacks a clear introduction that presents both sides of the argument. Consider starting with a sentence that introduces the topic and outlines the points to be discussed.

Thesis Statement

There's no clear thesis statement summarizing the writer's main argument or position on robots' impact on society. It is essential to include this in the introduction to guide the reader.

Logical Structure

Ideas about robots are presented in an unordered fashion and can be arranged more logically. The writer should focus on a clear progression of ideas from introduction through to conclusion.

Conclusion

The conclusion only briefly restates the writer's viewpoint without summing up the main points discussed in the essay. Aim to reinforce your argument clearly in the conclusion.

Supporting Examples

There is repetition and overgeneralization regarding the topic without substantial evidence or examples. The writer should include specific examples that support their points about robots.

Task Response

The essay does not completely address the counterargument about robots being dangerous. A balanced argument requires exploring opposing viewpoints more comprehensively.

Sentence Structure

Sentences should be structured to avoid run-on sentences and fragments. Paragraphs must have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

247 words

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Some people belive that robots are very important to human’s future development, whilw others believe they are dangerous and negatively affect society.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, people now wear western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than the traditional clothing. Why? (Reasons and relevant examples) Is this a positive or negative development?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Too much emphasis is given for eduation of the young. More government money should be spent free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?