Some people belive that robots are very important to human’s future development, whilw others believe they are dangerous and negatively affect society.

#people #belive #robots #human’s #future #development #whilw #society

Robots

have been making our lives so much easier ,

Correct word choice

but hencesome

show examples

hencesome

Correct your spelling

hence some

handsome

people think they might not be good for our future or even hurt us in some ways. I strongly disagree with

this

statement. these days

robotshave

Correct your spelling

robots have

many benefits for human lives

for example

there are bots that help us heal our mental health , choose things that suit us the best ,learn new things with their help ,or even answer all our questions and do many of the tasks that before them they would take a lot of time and energy from us ,

for instance

,chat gpt is a bot that can solve many of your problems and you can ask any question that you want and in some way,it will give you the best answers and make you save more time. another thing that leads us to have these negative mindsets toward

robots

is the effect of fictional movies, series , books etc ,that display

robots

as villains or creatures who destroy humans take control of the world and start to do evil things

for example

there is a series called west world which the story is exactly about how bad

robotscan

Correct your spelling

robots can

be .

while

us humans should be more thoughtful and see the positive effects of

these equipment

Change the determiner

this equipment

show examples

on our world.

to sum up

, except for some workers who have been replaced by

robots

literally, we can only see benefits from

this

technology that helps us every day to raise the quality of our lives.

Submitted by behnazahmadi2004 on Fri Jan 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction

The essay lacks a clear introduction that presents both sides of the argument. Consider starting with a sentence that introduces the topic and outlines the points to be discussed.

Thesis Statement

There's no clear thesis statement summarizing the writer's main argument or position on robots' impact on society. It is essential to include this in the introduction to guide the reader.

Logical Structure

Ideas about robots are presented in an unordered fashion and can be arranged more logically. The writer should focus on a clear progression of ideas from introduction through to conclusion.

Conclusion

The conclusion only briefly restates the writer's viewpoint without summing up the main points discussed in the essay. Aim to reinforce your argument clearly in the conclusion.

Supporting Examples

There is repetition and overgeneralization regarding the topic without substantial evidence or examples. The writer should include specific examples that support their points about robots.

Task Response

The essay does not completely address the counterargument about robots being dangerous. A balanced argument requires exploring opposing viewpoints more comprehensively.

Sentence Structure

Sentences should be structured to avoid run-on sentences and fragments. Paragraphs must have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?
It is evident that with age societal reactions experience significant modifications. There remains some disagreement as to whether these changes are positive or negative. In this essay, I will argue that they are intrinsically advantageous changes and also explore primary differences between the social responses of younger generations and older generations. The reasons for this are as follows.
5
band
Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?
Thanks to modern technology and development in transportation facilities, shipment of food ingredients has become much easier. As some opine consuming domestic foods is more environment friendly in addition to being economical, I suppose this point of attitude goes a long way.
6
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
It is great to know that you're intending to go for a camping holiday in the coming summer, and also thank you for taking me into confidence for some advice. I think you should take the opportunity and make it this summer.
7.5
band
In many countries, mainly tourists, but not local people, visit museums and historical sites. Why does this happen? What can be done to attract more local people to visit places?
It is true that only foreigners prefer to visit museums and historical points in many countries but native people show less interest in these locations. There are several reasons for this, and can be easily resolved by some simple steps.
8
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answeers and include relevant examples from your own knowlwdge or experience.
It is argued that the purpose of science must be to develop people’s lives. I wholeheartedly agree with this notion because, over the past few years, we witnessed a lot of massive changes happen to individual’s lives, like improvements in the health care system and agriculture.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some people belive that robots are very important to human’s future development, whilw others believe they are dangerous and negatively affect society.

Fully explain your ideas

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children’s social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, mainly tourists, but not local people, visit museums and historical sites. Why does this happen? What can be done to attract more local people to visit places?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answeers and include relevant examples from your own knowlwdge or experience.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+