In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #centres #malls #development

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Recently more people

tend

Wrong verb form

have tended

show examples

to buy their needs

such

Linking Words

as groceries, garments, appliances, and so on, from grand shopping

malls

Use synonyms

. The consequence of their desire

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Linking Words

kind of shopping has been presented with

closure

Add an article

the closure

show examples

of more local small stores day by day. In

this

Linking Words

letter

Add a comma

letter,

show examples

I argue the negative aspects of

this

Linking Words

development

Use synonyms

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, before turning to the positive ones and I believe the positive aspects are more significant than

negatives

Correct article usage

the negatives

show examples

. In some individual's

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

, the closure of local

shops

Use synonyms

appears with gross changes in society.

In other words

Linking Words

, their claim is the positions of owners turned to

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

However

Linking Words

, these changes may assume

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

first impression, we should not forget the fact that the

existing

Replace the word

existence

show examples

of small

shops

Use synonyms

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

competition among service providers, which

usually

Add a missing verb

is usually

show examples

tailored to the needs of consumers.

For example

Linking Words

, in the past local

shops

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

their owner’s authority,

place

Wrong verb form

placed

show examples

some

discount

Fix the agreement mistake

discounts

show examples

to draw more attention to their business. Needless to say, the change in folk's position from employer to employee

take

Wrong verb form

took

show examples

their power to control the prices and

this

Linking Words

change ended

Change preposition

show examples

higher costs for

costumers

Correct your spelling

customers

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the flip side, by developing more shopping

malls

Use synonyms

, the opportunities for more entertainment

besides

Linking Words

shopping are provided.

Moreover

Linking Words

, most of the shopping

malls

Use synonyms

have been equipped with different facilities,

playground

Fix the agreement mistake

playgrounds

show examples

for kids, cinemas, and so on, to impact on consumer’s wellbeing

besides

Linking Words

shopping.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, shopping in huge

malls

Use synonyms

would be helpful to waste

fewer

Correct quantifier usage

less

show examples

time on shopping. They usually contain different variety of stores from groceries to different brands of

attires

Fix the agreement mistake

attire

show examples

, which help every individual to

buys

Change the verb

buy

show examples

all the

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

without

commute

Wrong verb form

commuting

show examples

between several locations.

In addition

Linking Words

, these

malls

Use synonyms

are

spring

Wrong verb form

springing

show examples

up with lots of new

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

for society. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the

development

Use synonyms

of big shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

affected lots of small local

shops

Use synonyms

and

anchors

Wrong verb form

anchored

show examples

them to closure, I assume

this

Linking Words

development

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

show examples

a positive

development

Use synonyms

from

consumer's

Correct article usage

the consumer's

show examples

view.

Submitted by ali on Fri Jan 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

You should ensure that the essay has a clear and logical organization of ideas. Aim for a clear progression from introduction to conclusion, with coherent paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion should be clearly defined and reflect the overall stance on the issue. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific and relevant examples. Vague statements can detract from the overall effectiveness of the argument.

task achievement

Ensure the essay fully responds to all parts of the task prompt. Each point should contribute to addressing whether the development is positive or negative.

task achievement

Ideas should be clear and comprehensive, allowing the reader to follow along easily without confusion. Avoid overly complex or convoluted sentences.

task achievement

Use specific examples to illustrate your arguments. General statements without concrete examples weaken the persuasive power of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail outlets
consumer behavior
shop locally
convenience
variety
economic growth
job creation
community
personal touch
small businesses
local economy
big corporations
dependence
shopping habits
urbanization
globalization
competition

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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outways disadvantages in family developement.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be disadvantages of being self-employed?

Planting trees if very important, some people say that trees should be planted in the vacant areas of the cities and town, while others say that housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?