In somecountries there has been an increase in numbers of parents educated their children at their home instead of sending to them to school.Do you think advantages of this out weigh disadvantages.
Homeschooling has been
getting population
in several countries for Verb problem
increasing
parents
who prefer give
their Fix the infinitive
to give
children
education at their
home alternatively sending them Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
to school
. One-to-one learning at home can be a
easy way to bring a Change the article
an
significant
taught Change the adjective
significantly
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
Add the particle
to be
be
exposure Unnecessary verb
apply
in
harmful influences.
Change preposition
to
Overall
, protective parents
usually choose homeschooling to preeven
their Correct your spelling
prevent
children
to
bullying, bad habits or peer pressure. Change preposition
from
Although
, parents
with children
can choose expecific
subjects based on their interests, qualifications and needs to develop their Correct your spelling
specific
strenghts
and improve their weaknesses individually. Correct your spelling
strengths
Furthermore
, in the
classroom with numerous Correct article usage
a
of
Change preposition
apply
classmates-plus
Correct your spelling
classmates plus
teacher
could be difficult Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
bring
the same attention for that reason some students learn more than others.
Fix the infinitive
to bring
Whereas
, school
is an important step in the
Correct article usage
apply
live
to learn how to communicate with people the same age Replace the word
life
like
Change preposition
apply
a
peers, as well teachers or older generation, Correct your spelling
as
can
impact Correct pronoun usage
which can
in
their social skills development. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, prevent the event of isolation such
as children
deal
with depression Wrong verb form
dealing
due to
being at home all the time and have
their Wrong verb form
having
parents
as only
friends.
Correct pronoun usage
their only
To sum up
, Homeschooling bring
a lot of benefits to students but Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
school
brings be
freedom, Unnecessary verb
apply
social
and educational skills that cannot be replaced. Correct word choice
and social
on
my point of view, Change preposition
In
Go
to Wrong verb form
Going
school
is something you can't let go.
Change preposition
of.
Submitted by paulina2.0zapata on
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task achievement
The essay provides a general response to the prompt, but it needs to further develop ideas with more in-depth analysis and clear argument progression. It touches upon both advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling but does not offer a thorough comparison to determine whether one outweighs the other.
coherence cohesion
The coherence of the essay is somewhat compromised due to grammatical inaccuracies and issues with word choice ('getting population' instead of 'gaining popularity', 'preeven' instead of 'prevent', 'expecific' instead of 'specific', 'strenghts' which should be 'strengths'). Moreover, the cohesion could be improved by more effectively using linking words and ensuring paragraph topics are clearly distinct yet interconnected.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.